Holiday

A lot has happened since I last posted. I suppose that is one of the reasons I haven't been frequent enough about this. I also choose to keep a lot private... but I have some time on my hands now.
Things are different now. I was able to go home for the holidays, which was amazing. Going home for the holidays was a breath of fresh air, and honestly, it was really hard to leave. We had a bonfire, went to my uncle's house and had a huge time out by bogue sound, headed up to the new mountain house and I really got to enjoy a lot of things in a small amount of time. It was a great trip.
Now that I am back, I am slowly easing into life in NYC. I have moved to Washington Heights into an amazing apartment with Katie. I couldn't ask for a more beautiful place, and the best roommates. I have steady jobs. I am in a show. I have some interesting prospects laid out for me. However, I can't seem to get around how daunting this place feels since going home. There are so many actors or wanting to act in this city, coming to this city. I am overwhelmed by all of it. I am going to keep my nose to the grindstone, and be patient with my class and with auditions, but at least for now I am a bit overwhelmed.
I decided when I went home that I will give New York 2 or 3 more years. I really enjoy living here, especially when I am not broke. But, if I am not able to accomplish what I want to accomplish up here, I think it will be time to move somewhere where I can act. I am certainly not giving up, and I am hopeful that things are picking up here for me. I just don't want to waste half of my life not doing what I want to do. There are other places to act, other theatres to join, other jobs to be had, and if I find myself in the same position I am in now, in 2 years, then it will be time to see what else is out there.
That is sort of where I am right now.
The lyrics,
"Someone is on your side, someone else is not"
keep resonating through my head. I have never been more aware of that, than now I think. I am having the hardest time figuring out who is and who is not on my side though. I think that is why those lyrics keep ringing through my head. I have no idea. Things are not as black and white as I would like them to be. So, because of this feeling, I started re-reading The Death of Socrates by Plato. I am hoping for some sort of inspiration between the pages.
Also this song has been on my mind, but specifically this version.