Not the easiest few days. This weekend was something of a disaster. I did things I wasn't necessarily proud of, said things I didn't really mean, and essentially ended up in a place I didn't really imagine myself being.
So I hopped on the parkway in good ole Kristen Marshall fashion, and went and sat on top of a mountain and thought. I tried to talk to myself, but nothing really came of that. So I started writing, and I had an entire 5 pages spill out of me onto paper. It was apart of that whole stream-of-consciousness thing. I finished and I felt good, really good. Then I sang. I sang really loud on top of a mountain. I sang and listened to my echo, listened to the birds. It was good. The best therapy ever.
I did get through midterm week though, and I was able to go to a great house party this weekend. I also sang in a not-so-bad concert.
This week should be much easier. I am going to buy some clothes for the installation this weekend, go to classes which will be infinitely easier since midterms are done, and finishing working for a few days.
I decided yesterday that I am going to be single for quite some time. I feel as though I have jumped from thing to thing for too long now. And maybe I haven't, but I feel that way. I am good. I am great. I don't need anyone for verification. And I can enjoy myself for a while without worrying to find someone.
I am looking forward to this new outlook on singledom. I love myself, and now I will be able to actually enjoy it.
So through the shit, came good. There was good at the end, and I think I have found it.
Good.
Here is a video from the Wild Party, which I am super stoked about auditioning for at City Stage. This isn't a song I would sing of course, it IS just one of the many reasons I love the show. This would actually be my first City Stage show, if you can imagine that, and a great way to leave Wilmington. So, here is the video!!!
2 comments:
there's always good to be found. climbing a mountain sounds like a great way to start that search.
Did you hold your breath and make a wish going through the tunnels? That's very important. I forgot to tell you.
But yes. There is always good to be found. There is always light and love. Sometimes you just have to open your eyes real wide (or close them real tight) to be able to see it. I'm glad the Parkway was good to you.
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