What'll I Do?

When I was a child I used to have the most vivid nightmares. I like to blame this on the fact that my mother used to tell the most beautiful and vivid stories to my sister and me as we were going to bed. My head would twist them and contort them into dark versions of themselves and I would wake up terrified.
This week couldn't be harder. I need a job... three more jobs. Our lease was just terminated because of a whole list of reasons, nothing directly our fault, and we have until November 30th to live here. I am waiting to hear back from two theatres... and I am waiting impatiently. I'm not even sure if I will be able to stay here in the city for November unless I book a theatre, or I find a job or two tomorrow. My heart is pounding and my shoulders are tense. I don't particularly like anyone right now. I am terrified.
At night when I would wake up as a child I would call my grandmother. My parents would get really impatient with me and my nightmares, but it never seemed to phase my grandmother. My parents also made the awful mistake of buying me a giant red phone in order to teach me how to use a phone. I learned how to use it quickly, and called my grandmother when I had these nightmares, and she always answered. She answered the way my mother answers the phone now if I call too late. She would have a raspy tone, but a comfort in her voice. She would soothe and conjole. One time she even drove the 4 streets we lived apart from each other in the middle of the night, just to make sure I was ok. She did all of that, for me.
Who do I call now? Who can I bother now? When does everything become alright? When do I stop worrying about what's next week, or next month, or just what's next? When? Do I get to go to bed and wake up and everything is fine?
I don't really know what to do. I don't know if I am good enough to stay up here. I don't know if it is feasible for me to live up here.
What's next?
What's that? Have some lemonade? Lemonade would choke me. Everyday a little death.