Questioning the Id

Moving!

2011-06-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am moving this page to a wordpress. Mostly, because I want to start blogging about things other than just my career. So follow me over! Thisamericanboyslife.wordpress.com

Loosing Sleep

2010-12-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

I just woke up. Can't sleep. I have to be up in 3 hours. I am just marking time, wishing I could get back every minute.
These next few weeks are going to feel like a whirlwind. There is so much going on, and so much to do. I can only seem to digest it one day at a time, for now. Our show is up and running, also it is the reason I have to wake up at such an ungodly hour. I have learned so much doing this show. It has resuscitated my lifeless artist within. That has been nice, needed. So I am using this show as a springboard to excite and motivate me in auditions, which look as though they are picking up in January.
Something about wee hours of the morning ignite such sentimentality within me. I can honestly say I am happy to not go home for Christmas, because I know if I did I would miss everyone all the more. That is what happened with Thanksgiving. It took me days to get over that funk. It is best to keep my head down right now, and plow ahead. It would be hard to go through that want again. I do have some nice things to look forward towards in the new year. I am planning a cabaret, filled with friends and lively music. I need to be more dilligent in preparation for it, but it is slowly coming along. I have some fun people to meet and talk about future prospects and auditions will be in full swing.
Now that I think about it, there is so much that will happen in the new year. One of my best friends is getting married. I will go to some weddings. I will work in some theatres. I will have all sorts of new experiences. This new year should be pretty darn interesting, now that I think about it.
On my walk to the train today I felt like I was going to explode from... I don't even know how to describe the feeling. I was thinking over how many things I have done. I was thinking about being on the needy side of a relationship, and on the side of ending a relationship. I was thinking about all of the emotions I have been through and everyone goes through. I was thinking about all the experiences I have acquired. Just within my life already, I have done and felt so much. It was so exciting. It made me happy and anxious for what is coming. It made me feel as though I wanted to tell everyone how exciting our lives are, but instead I just walked to the train platform with a ridiculous grin.
So right now I am happy, healthy, busy, and sentimental (though I think that is mostly because of the wee hours in the morning).
Regardless, I just listened to this recording again and I cannot help but put a video of it up on here. This song is so beautiful, so simple, and so meaningful. It choked me up a bit. I do miss so many people, and home especially. But what can I say? It's not my fault I have such an amazing family. I can't help but feel this way. Plus in due time, I'll be seeing you.

Holiday

2010-12-06T06:41:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened since I last posted. I suppose that is one of the reasons I haven't been frequent enough about this. I also choose to keep a lot private... but I have some time on my hands now.
Things are different now. I was able to go home for the holidays, which was amazing. Going home for the holidays was a breath of fresh air, and honestly, it was really hard to leave. We had a bonfire, went to my uncle's house and had a huge time out by bogue sound, headed up to the new mountain house and I really got to enjoy a lot of things in a small amount of time. It was a great trip.
Now that I am back, I am slowly easing into life in NYC. I have moved to Washington Heights into an amazing apartment with Katie. I couldn't ask for a more beautiful place, and the best roommates. I have steady jobs. I am in a show. I have some interesting prospects laid out for me. However, I can't seem to get around how daunting this place feels since going home. There are so many actors or wanting to act in this city, coming to this city. I am overwhelmed by all of it. I am going to keep my nose to the grindstone, and be patient with my class and with auditions, but at least for now I am a bit overwhelmed.
I decided when I went home that I will give New York 2 or 3 more years. I really enjoy living here, especially when I am not broke. But, if I am not able to accomplish what I want to accomplish up here, I think it will be time to move somewhere where I can act. I am certainly not giving up, and I am hopeful that things are picking up here for me. I just don't want to waste half of my life not doing what I want to do. There are other places to act, other theatres to join, other jobs to be had, and if I find myself in the same position I am in now, in 2 years, then it will be time to see what else is out there.
That is sort of where I am right now.
The lyrics,
"Someone is on your side, someone else is not"
keep resonating through my head. I have never been more aware of that, than now I think. I am having the hardest time figuring out who is and who is not on my side though. I think that is why those lyrics keep ringing through my head. I have no idea. Things are not as black and white as I would like them to be. So, because of this feeling, I started re-reading The Death of Socrates by Plato. I am hoping for some sort of inspiration between the pages.
Also this song has been on my mind, but specifically this version.

What'll I Do?

2010-10-20T20:56:00.001-07:00

When I was a child I used to have the most vivid nightmares. I like to blame this on the fact that my mother used to tell the most beautiful and vivid stories to my sister and me as we were going to bed. My head would twist them and contort them into dark versions of themselves and I would wake up terrified.
This week couldn't be harder. I need a job... three more jobs. Our lease was just terminated because of a whole list of reasons, nothing directly our fault, and we have until November 30th to live here. I am waiting to hear back from two theatres... and I am waiting impatiently. I'm not even sure if I will be able to stay here in the city for November unless I book a theatre, or I find a job or two tomorrow. My heart is pounding and my shoulders are tense. I don't particularly like anyone right now. I am terrified.
At night when I would wake up as a child I would call my grandmother. My parents would get really impatient with me and my nightmares, but it never seemed to phase my grandmother. My parents also made the awful mistake of buying me a giant red phone in order to teach me how to use a phone. I learned how to use it quickly, and called my grandmother when I had these nightmares, and she always answered. She answered the way my mother answers the phone now if I call too late. She would have a raspy tone, but a comfort in her voice. She would soothe and conjole. One time she even drove the 4 streets we lived apart from each other in the middle of the night, just to make sure I was ok. She did all of that, for me.
Who do I call now? Who can I bother now? When does everything become alright? When do I stop worrying about what's next week, or next month, or just what's next? When? Do I get to go to bed and wake up and everything is fine?
I don't really know what to do. I don't know if I am good enough to stay up here. I don't know if it is feasible for me to live up here.
What's next?
What's that? Have some lemonade? Lemonade would choke me. Everyday a little death.

Life Changing

2010-10-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

I saw Bernadette and Elaine in A Little Night Music last night... and it was brilliant. There performances were so awe inspiring... such a living legacy, such theatre history, such a cool thing to see and experience. I love this craft, this profession... with all the ups and downs, the uncertainties, and all of the processes. Last night confirmed why I am an actor, why I am toiling away, why I am working and striving. I love the art of storytelling and communicating emotions with others... it is a euphoric experience.
I had some really strong callbacks recently, and more auditions set to attend within the next week. I also have had an effortless transition in survival jobs this week, and that couldn't be a nicer surprise.
Also, Kristen is in town! It is so good to have her here, to show her what I love, and to see her reactions.
I couldn't be poorer, but I am rich with friends, family, classes, promising auditions, and the hope of an even better tomorrow.
I am almost idiotically optimistic, but I always have been, and I don't know if I could ever imagine changing that.
I am happy and surviving, and breathing, and living, and loving.
And that is that.

No one's picking up the phone.. guess it's me, and me.

2010-09-29T21:20:00.000-07:00

Wow, this is a relic. Let's pick this up... dust it off and try it again. I have been in turmoil lately.. for about the past 4 months. This turmoil isn't the bad kind though... not the run-of-the-mill gnashing-of-teeth, wailing kind. I am just putting that on the table now.
I took about 3 months off of auditions. I felt ups and downs, felt grief and joy, and everything in between. I lived. I really was living. I started auditioning about a month ago... finally back to the grind of it, and it felt similar to returning to school. I am optimistic, but of course I am, when am I not?
In the meantime I am having the time of my life up here. I have met some of the craziest cool people lately. I have the best roommates the entire universe could conspire for me to have. I am feeling brave tonight... i am feeling fearless. I have been feeling this way for the past couple of days. I think these feelings will help me make really bold decisions in my work.
Growing up is so hard. I had no idea. I guess, in a way it is beautiful. I am so thankful for the best family ever, and on top of that, the best friends ever. I couldn't be luckier.. or happier... or feeling better.
It's been a year I have lived here now, a year and a few months. It has all flown by so fast, and I have learned so much. But I have so much more to still learn. This is city is far from through with me. I am excited about what is coming in my near future. I am feeling optimistic... but when am I not.
From an open mic I was at this week.

Missing you...

2010-05-07T21:22:00.001-07:00

I just had an epiphany in my bed after another hard day of auditions, and work, and running around the city. I have been so caught up in me for the past 9 months while I have been here. I have worried about what I am learning, what I am doing, where I am working, what I am auditioning for, who I am dating, what physical things I can acquire to make my dream of being a working actor appear more real. All of this has cluttered my mind, and it has been no more evident than in this blog. Look through the previous post, not that I am suggesting you should, but you will find such self indulgence. It's a huge reflection of what has been in my head. I am usually pretty transparent, and my blog is no different in that sense
So after a hard day, an especially hard day, I decided to take a bath. I haven't taken a bath in months, It has been even longer since I took time to meditate. Tonight I held a seance. I had a session. I invoked the things I want and I invited to them in my life. I had a dear friend say to me tonight, "You are famous." I, of course, protested. The same friend went on to say, "You don't have to be so anxious, you are going to get what you want. You have the drive. You have the talent. Just let it happen when it happens." It just hit me so hard, almost like walking out of a fog. I get it. I don't have to work so hard in my mind, or on my blog, or to my friends, or to anyone, or to anything to prove that I am worthy of living here and that I can accomplish my dreams. I don't have to convince one cotton-pickin' thing. It just is. I just am. I will put in the work. I will put in the effort. But the jobs are coming, The opportunities are coming. The dreams are being fulfilled. My life is going to be exactly as it should be, and all of the worrying, convincing, proving, striving, or shitting on myself (metaphysically speaking) in the world won't matter.
It all just is going to happen as it should.
I then got out of the bath.
I was listening to jazz and laying in bed, in the dark with one candle. I then remembered what was most important to me. I remembered my family. I started to remember everyone I have lost. I started grieving over family members I have lost and haven't grieved over yet. My family is the most important thing to me. To me, my family is the best thing on the planet. It inspires me to write a musical about them. My family is entertaining, beautiful, talented, hilarious, rude, draining, filled with secrets, and the thing that completes me.
We have lost so many, but their spirits still resonate through my mind, my spirit and my body. My uncle Jeff was an excellent father figure while my father had to work in Chicago for a year or more. He spoiled me and Tara. He had an infectious laugh... one I hear in myself sometimes. His joy was infectious. His light was bright. And all of
these things still ring true. We lost him 2 years ago now, damn that is too hard to believe. My beautifully elegant grandmother, Mama whom taught me so many lessons I never wanted to learn. She taught me how to carry myself, even from a wheelchair for some amount of her life. She taught me how to speak of yourself, how to treat others with dignity and yourself with dignity. She was so intriguing, and loving in a way I will never forget. Her views and her stories and her thoughts will live in me and through me forever.
Nana was a beautiful great aunt of mine. She taught me elegance and grace. She taught me fun and propriety. She taught me how to have fun, how to show unending graciousness. She exemplified so many things, but most of all an unending love, even for strangers. She cared for you if she knew your name. She is a great woman I think of all the time up here, because she lived in this city and roamed the same streets I roam. I hope she is getting a kick out of all this I am doing up here.
Margaret was a dear great aunt as well. She was a survivor. she was such a strong woman, and a loving woman. I found myself compelled to her energy. She captivated me. Even after her stroke, and she couldn't speak or be the woman she wanted to be, she still communicated and loved and was an amazingly beautiful example.
Gloria was a beautiful aunt, and though I didn't understand a lot of her understandings when I was young, they sit with me now. She is always with me, her thoughts, her guidance. Her light was always bright and magnetic. It has only been in the last 4 years though that I wish she was with me to help me and show me her thoughts. I find myself thinking more and more like her. She was so progressive and smart. If anything I have had a great starting point of understanding, what I now find, the most influential world views.
The last person, but certainly not the least person I think of, is my mother's mother, Memaw. She was a firecracker of a lady. She was a trip. She never knew a stranger. She loved the simpler things. She loved laughter, music, she loved the beach, the mountains, family, she loved life. She is always with me and in me. I know that for sure. She is my best friend and my strongest advocate, even now. Her spirit lives inside of me.
But those aren't even all of the great family members I have. BB,Barry, Rex, David, Wendy, Zack Josh, April, Ernie, Suzanne, Judy, Brie, Beth, John, Emma, Michael, Amy, Dee, Karen, Patti, Holden, Harry, Erika, and of course Mom, Dad, and Tara. These are just the immediate family members. This doesn't even include the extended family. I am so lucky. I have the craziest, zaniest, most loving, generous family in the world.
They inspire me. I love them to my wits end. When I get my first Tony award I won't have time to thank industry people, I will have to thank these people. These are the people that helped create me into what I am now. They are the lights of my life. The ones that have passed on are with me, we had a great session tonight. The ones that are still here are my motivation. I am so into them.
Come to think of it, why not write a musical about them? I think have something to create.
... a song that has stuck with me lately from a group I just adore.

It's Alive!

2010-04-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

The blog is back up and running... for now. I abstained from blogging for a while beause I felt that it was too self indulgent... but I guess that is sort of the point of blogging. So I am allowing myself to indulge once more.
Spring is here in the city. Everything is blooming and coming back to life. The park has been beautiful, and I have tried to spend a little time there each week just to enjoy all of it. Also living in this new apartment is beautiful right now. It is pretty much in the middle of a park. Our complex takes up about 3 city blocks through an entire avenue and it is mostly greenspace. It is really beautiful.
In other news, I have been training a ton. I took an audition class for a month, another scene classfor a different month with a former teacher, and I have updated my entire book.
Hopefully, I will be making a trip to North Carolina soon. I think I booked a Summer Stock theatre in Ohio, so once I find out for sure, then I can book a ticket home.
That's it for now. New Season= new blog layout. I hope this warmer weather is finding everyone well. Love!
...wait for the end.

Winter in The City

2009-12-10T20:05:00.001-08:00

Wow, This weather is so cool. I never thought I would love cold weather, but I am totally into it. I really love how it makes your face cold, but if you dress appropriately you can still stay warm. It is just a really cool feeling. The city is so beautiful right now on top of all of it. It sparkles. There are lights, wreaths, bows, trees, EVERYWHERE. It is gorgeous. I mean don't get me wrong. I generally hate Christmas. It is consumer generated. It uses a fertility sign to signal the onset of the season. It claims a ton of pre-christian facts assimilated into the christian doctrine and mainstreams it all for the masses. It is generally a mess. But the LIGHTS and the WEATHER and the ICE SKATING that is OUTDOORS... it is so cool. So i am totally onboard.
I got a job this week! I will be hosting at Blue Fin in Times Square, starting on Tuesday. I am really happy that I got a job, which will allow me to audition, take classes, save, and is close to where I will be moving.
I also got a call from the Public this week. WHAT?! I know. They called me to let me know they were looking for me and expecting me in the audition room in early to mid- January. It was so bizarre, but awesome. I think this means I might be able to come in early, but if not, they are at least looking for me!
I scheduled some awesome auditions for myself coming up next week. I am finally putting it all together, for the most part. Auditions, work, saving, classes, and compiling them all to fit together!
This week was awesome because I allowed myself to be open to the fates. I got out, walked around, and found myself in the coolest places. I got a job, I got to catch up with old friends, I got to see more of the city, and I got to go to a friends cabaret where he debuted a lot of his new stuff. This week was cool. I know there is something here for me in the city, and I love seeing where the day takes me. So far Mama New York is seeing me through, and I think she always will.
This week I got to go to Gypsy of the Year, which is where Bway choruses perform different songs all rearranged. It was a cool experience. Right after I went to Curtains Up for a Cure at Playwrights Horizon. There, I got to hang out with Julia Murney for a while, watch Billy Stritch play like a genius on the piano, and meet some really great people.
This was a totally different week than last week, and I welcomed the change. I can't wait to see what else is in store, good or bad. I believe anything I experience is all for a purpose, and I am just excited about the journey.
So I was at this performance, but the video I made is really too quiet. This one is quiet as well, but check out. Julia Murney is a goddess. This song is brilliantly arranged. ENJOY!

From the loins

2009-12-05T22:35:00.000-08:00

I had a teacher who used to always say if you ever did anything onstage and it didn't come from the loins (meaning your crotch, your guts, your root) then it wasn't any good.
Here it goes.
Thanksgiving was great. I had a beautiful time. I really loved getting to see everyone that I could fit in over a short period. This year I realized how in love I am with my family. They are so great, and crazy, and weird, and obnoxious, and beautiful. I love them, and this year I was able to open my eyes and really see that love in a new way. I also got to see my best friend in Wilmington. Terrill looks so good, and he is doing so well. I had such a blast catching up with him and getting a glimpse of his life lately. He is a beautiful human being, and I am so lucky to have him. I also got to see Debbie, Meredith, Jen, Max, Reece, and Michelle. God, they are all so brilliant in their own ways. They made my time in Southport the best part of being in Southport. I also got to see my best friend in Asheville. Kristen is doing so well for herself. Planning, scheming, preparing, doing, directing, acting. She is carving out a nice place for herself in that town, not that she plans on staying. Graham, Forrest, Cary, Katie, Kevin, Josh, Ashley, Melodie, and everyone else I got to see were all such gifts. I am so lucky to have so many awesome, supportive friends. I guess that's another thing I was able to realize, I really have a ton of love behind me. I couldn't be more lucky. I mean that. I have so much for which to be thankful.
Coming back to New York proved to be really daunting. I have spent the week trying to get back into the groove. I have had some fun times this week, but a lot of it has been bad and I would be dishonest not to say that. I am in the midst of job hunting, still. I really hate job hunting. I have some good leads and hopefully they will prove to be so over the next few days. I have some good auditions coming up, which I am more excited about. I am so excited because I have strong pieces with strong objectives. I like how my work is progressing. I also went to A Very Mary Holiday on Monday where I sort of helped Marti, who created the event, as his right hand guy. I loved the event. It was beautiful. So many great talents came to perform. So many beautiful people came to support the cause (the concert was for the Ali Forney center). Oh! In case you don't know, the Ali Forney center helps take in beaten and battered homosexual kids. The President literally got up and told a story of a girl he had recently taken in, whose father douced her in gasoline and intended to burn her, alive. It was so bizarre, but touching, and inspiring that these kids have a place to go. It is a great foundation, and something I was really proud to see Marti help. I spent a beautiful night with Roxanne the night they lit the Christmas tree in Rockafellar Plaza. She is the greatest. We had a long night of great talks, and she showed me a GREAT beer place in midtown. It has a ton of things I have to try!
So I guess a lot of good happened this week, but I have felt this weight of depression holding me down. I guess the mixture of not having the jobs I want, feeling of complacency and backwardness, coupled with being back in the city, and dealing with a hurt heart have all taken a toll on me. I haven't left the house too much, and only to go to work. I haven't really enjoyed anything, especially these last 3 days. I could barely get out of bed one day. I have gone on dates this week, and they were all terrible. I have tried to get a job, to no avail. I almost feel like I am getting dumber, so I have been reading anything I can. I have felt like I can't do anything, so I simply haven't tried a lot to anything. I know this is just a rut. This is just a setback. There are a ton of good things in the future. There is a ton in front of me. But right now, it hasn't been the greatest. I have been telling myself to live in the moment, in the present and really feel that. It has helped a lot. I have, for the first time in a long time, really experienced all of this turmoil and complacency and guilt and anguish, really. It's a lot to go through, but I can't cheat myself of this experience.
In an attempt to educate myself I have been re-reading Rilke. He said, live the questions, and damnit that is what I am doing. I am also re-reading Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares, and I am finding a ton of depth in it, which I didn't find in the beginning. I am also reading on the attacks going on in Uganda. There is news of a bill their government wants to pass killing all gay people, and those who harbour them. I have also been reading on Greek mythology, specifically because of the new rock opera at The Duke. I don't know enough about so much. I have so much to learn. I am trying though, one day at a time.
I am also writing my memoirs. I am going to name them, "The Road to Broadway". Then end of the book will be my opening night on Broadway. So far I love writing them. I think it is so great to get out all of these stories I have kept inside of me. Eventually I will start posting excerpts. For now, know I am only 2 years into my life. I have a long way to go, but I have to say writing this book makes me even more thankful, happy, sad, upset, hurt, loved, joyful, and all sort of things. If i can express any of that, then it will be worth the work.
I don't know if any of this is coherent, but that is a representation of this week. I have been all over the place.
Here is a video to close it out. I just discovered it tonight, and it inspired me to write. I also requested the sheet music from the composer already. I would love to get my hands on this peice. Same song, one is the girl's key and the other is the guy's key. I have felt a lot of this over the week.

In love with love

2009-11-17T00:11:00.001-08:00

Tonight was another beautiful Manhattan night. I went out with a good friend to see Carly Jibson sing at Joe's Pub downtown. It wasn't until I was walking back with my friend that I realized how awesome the night was. The empire state building was beautiful tonight dressed in bright white lights, and the air by the flat iron building was crisp and fresh. I had a moment right before I walked into the subway. I cannot believe I live here. Like a wave, this feeling will overcome me, and I get thrilled. I love the possibilities here, and I love how much I have grown in these four months.
I am leaving for NC on wednesday and I couldn't be happier to see my family. I wondered to myself tonight, if the ones who had passed could believe what I was doing. I would love to see their faces.
I thought about when everyone was still alive, tonight as I was standing by Bryant Park. I thought of how beautiful of a time it was to have everyone still here. There is so much love in my family, but more than that there is so much character and personality. There is never a boring moment. We are not a family with conventional anythings, but I don't think I could have it any other way.
I am happy to get home. I am happy to see the beach, to reconnect with the familiar. I am happy to go to Asheville and see what really became my second family. I am happy to hike through the Blue Ridge Parkway again, to drink with old friends again, to play old games again, and to catch up.
But I will be happy to return to my new home. I am falling in love with this place. In fact, I love so much about so manything, and so many people. I am a hopeless romantic. I fall desperately in love with all sorts of things, sometimes blindly hurting myself. But, I don't think I would have it any other way.
I am in love with love.
... and with this video

Knocked down

2009-11-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

This week I fell flat on my face. I mean flat on my face. I lost my bartending job due to some budget cuts and politics. I also lost whatever relationship i had going. I lost it in the same day. It was sort of a slap in the face. This city does that. You can have the best day of your life on Sunday, and the worst day on Monday. Which is sort of how it happened to me. I was knocked down.
Some good things did happen this week. I went to the Stage Directors and Choreographers gala, which was a blast. I met so many fantastic people, so many huge influences on the state of the modern theatre. I also danced a ton. Hanging out with Marti and helping with Broadway SpeaksOut is always a blast. I also went to a staged reading with him, and that too was nice. We saw a lot of the same faces we had the night before and it was good to recap.
This week I got a new job, making twice the money I was making bartending. It is a hosting position where Francesca works, which means I will get to see her way more.
I also got into my first Craig Carnelia class. He is really brilliant. I enjoyed his class so much. The people in the class are really receptive, honest, open, and inviting. I felt at home. The class is really exciting, and a great move for me.
Last night, I went to see Dreamgirls at The Apollo.... in Harlem. I gotta say, this trip was an adventure in itself. Harlem is a really interesting place, rich with culture. The show was almost more like homecoming of some sort. It felt really cool to watch this piece in that space. The show was interesting as well. Lots of ups, a few downs, but overall a strong show. I hope they have a great tour and all turn out successful at the end.
I was able to turn sort of a terrible week, into a good week. That is how this city is. One minute you are up, the next you are down. The most exciting part is the possibility. There is always something waiting for you, something to change you. It could be something terrible or something awesome, but the possibility of the two is exciting.
So a new friend I made this week was Katie Thompson. I think her music is outstanding, and I was a little starstruck... until we danced "Single Ladies" together. Here is the video for the post.

Enjoy her singing.

Enjoy her writing.

Doing

2009-11-04T21:17:00.000-08:00

This week I have auditions. I have classes. I am writing. I am creating. I am happy. I am living. This is what it is about. i couldn't be happier. I am doing.
I feel good about where I am and what is going on around me. I finally and feeling some sort of accomplishment. That is refreshing. I am so excited to be doing good.
Theatre changed me. It changed me to my core, and it changes people everyday. Theatre is a powerful tool. I have been going over these words so often these past few days. I also got a call from a friend of mine who went to Circle and he was thinking the same thing. So now we are in it together. Making and doing theatre that will change people, affect people. It doesn't matter how, it just matters that the work we are doing impacts us enough to where we think it could change others. I am so excited about this.
I have also been going through a whole new sets of ups and downs in a relationship. I have no idea what one of these is suppose to be like, or where it goes, and I always told myself I would never write about such a thing for these purposes. But the highs and lows, the ups and downs, the phenomenal and lowest low feelings are all so cool and interesting. I am so new to this whole process, but I am learning, slowly, to get into the process and enjoy it. It is so much like acting. Living the questions. Loving the questions. Stop looking for answers. I am learning a ton about myself and on the whole it is such a thrill to be in it.
Things are good.
I am taking with Everything Acting Podcast to help them start marketing, I am helping with Broadway Speaks Out. I am auditioning, finally for the first time in weeks. I am starting a brilliant new class. I am really pleased about everything going on right now.
Right now, the process is great. I love this process right now. Right now, I am really happy with where I am going, but more importantly where I am.
And thanksgiving is coming soon! I am going home! I get to see all of the wonderful friends and family I have back in NC! So excited about that.
The world is beautiful tonight. New York City is beautiful tonight, and I am it. I am in this world, in this city. I am in it and I am beautiful tonight because of it.
I love this.
VIDEOS THAT I LOVE!
I am really lucky that as of late I have been able to befriend Lisa Brescia. Here are two videos as to why she is brilliant.
WATCH BOTH!

AND

Thoughts over late night tea

2009-10-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

A few things.
First of all I am so excited for the march on DC's Mall tomorrow. I have a ton of friends running the festivities, and going to down to participate and I want to wish them all the very best. This is such an exciting time for us as a young generation. This is our movement in which we can really make a difference. It is time. It is time for everyone to have the right to basic human rights. It is time for everyone to be equal. It is time. Finally. I know it won't happen overnight. But it has got to start to happening. It has got to start with us and tomorrow is a great step in the right direction. If you aren't there like me, send out all of the good energy you have to those who are there. Call your congressman. Tell me them what you think of marriage equality. Tell them you are with Broadway Impact, Broadway Speaks Out, or Proud Ally and that you want equality across the board for all people.
Second of all, Today I got really frustrated with myself. I haven't been auditioning at all for a week now. I feel really silly being in this city and not auditioning. So, I bought my first backstage magazine in 2 weeks and I read it. I now have a few things in mind that I can go to during the week. I feel better already.I think I was taking auditions to seriously before or sometimes not taking them seriously at all. I think there is a happy balance in there that I intend to find. This week I will value going to auditions in a way I haven't before simply because I haven't been going.
Third of all, I haven't mentioned on here that I am doing a Manhattan Theatre Club gig with some great friends and we are really excited. We are doing song selections from Reefer Madness and I am singing Jimmy's part. COOL! Should be a ton of fun and I hope to have a ton of friends in the audience.
Fourth of all, Obama won the Nobel Peace Pize. AWESOME! I love everything about it.
Fifth of all, I work way too much.
Sixth of all, I want to get involved singing Handel's Messiah this season. The closer it gets to that time of the year the more I want to sing the tenor parts. I have got to find a church that will let me have my way with that piece.
That's all I got for now.
Here is a video I have been obsessed with lately. I love the people in Hair. This is their version of Beautiful Day by U2.

Overcommitted?

2009-10-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

I seem to be overcommitted. I sat down this afternoon, the first free one I have had all week, and I found that I am going to busy. Having two jobs, scheduling them around auditions, working with my rehearsal schedule, and filling in some semblance of a social life is hard. I am not really sure how real life works yet. This might be it? Constantly running from one thing to the next. Packing 8 outfits for all the places you have to be. Hoping you got the next destination you are suppose to be in correct and not confused. It is stressful.
I have been really lazy about auditions this week. I feel guilty, sort of. I didn't really do any research as to what I am missing out on this week, so I am sort of unsure as to what I missed and where the would-be guilt should be directed.
So I am sitting down now, and making this better. I am going to check out all of the auditions I am interested in this week. I have to see what my rehearsal schedule will be. Then I will schedule my work hours around all of that. The social life might dwindle a bit.
Things have been really good lately. As the weather gets cooler in the city I find myself getting more and more apprehensive. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely beautiful weather we are having right now. It is just cold. I can't help but think of what is to come. I am going to hate the winter here. I will have to busy myself with even more things just to keep my mind off the unbearable cold.
I can't really complain at all though. I have met some really cool people lately. I am networking a bit more up here. And I have to say that I can't believe I have been exposed to some brilliant minds, some beautiful people, and some generous new friends. I am so lucky to have so many great people in my life right now. I think more than anything, human connections and friendships mean the most to me. I have been really lucky to have a great deal of that all around me as of late.
So the city sucks some days, and is absolutely beautiful on others. I dislike working jobs in which I feel as though I have no impact on the world or the human condition. I am not acting like I would enjoy. I mean I know I have a show right now, and I am really happy to have a show, but I would like something bigger.
I guess for now I need to be happy with what I have. I am learning to live the questions, and it is taking a lot of learning. For now, this is where I am. I am living and loving and happy about it.
Lately, I love Peter, Paul and Mary. Here is a reflection of that love.

PEACE now FREEDOM now CREATE now!!!

2009-09-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

I have been having a suprisingly cool week. I mean don't get me wrong, I got typed out of an audition and I was asked to only leave my headshot/resume with a few people instead of audition.
BUT I was asked to sing MORE at an audition yesterday, and not only that but they were so sweet and great in the room. Meaning that I found a new hope in auditioning. I also randomly met the assistant director to Hamlet on Broadway yesterday and that was awesome. He was exceedingly good natured and quick witted. I also made a friend in an audition room this week, and that was really nice.
Lately I have really been toying with the idea of writing my own musical, and tonight I am going to sit down to the idea. I have seen Hair a lot lately and I am ready for a musical that is really relevant to our society and sort of forces the public to change the way they see musical theatre. I feel like musical theatre has done itself a slight injustice by not remaining entirely relevant. I would like to expedite that, potentially. If anything, this is just a nice exercise and good outlet for creativity.
That brings me to the last point I need to talk about. There is an equality march that the Broadway community is getting behind with several organizations to march on The Mall in Washington DC. It is for Marriage Equality, and YOU SHOULD GO! It is October 11th. If you need any further details let me know and I will of course forward them along. It is time for ALL people to live and work and marry and pray and speak HOWEVER they choose.
Let us bring home our people overseas engaged in a greed-driven war.
Let us not hold ourselves back from fighting injustice, Freedom should belong to all people.
Let us express ourselves and create whatever we like to help in our own journey. This too is JUST as important!
Peace now
Freedom now
Create now

resting and planning

2009-09-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

Today has been surprisingly productive. I have been able to plan a smathering of auditions for the coming week, plus 3 readings to attend, plus 2 events i might want to check out which happen to be FREE, and fitting my job schedule in. THAT'S RIGHT! I am employed. AND it is good.
I work for The New 42nd Street Corporation which manages the Duke theatre (an off broadway space) and few rehearsal halls that house broadway shows before they move, equity tours... big things, i mean it IS on 42nd street. See this block used to be really gross and full off porn shops, UNTIL Giulianni (sp?) decided to revive the theatre district. He created a small business (small ish) to revamp the block. The New 42nd Street Corporation was that company, they sold The New Amsterdam theatre to Disney, where they put up The Lion King, and the rest is history. ANYWAY now this corpration has this GREAT space on the block to house rehearsals and also off broadway shows, most of which are purposefully directed towards kids to get young ones excited about live theatre. BOTTOM LINE= this is an awesome job.
Anyway I have 14 auditions scoped out for this week. I plan on making it to at least 12 of them. 2 are booked at the same time, and I will have to do some serious running between the two studios which are like 14 streets apart. I gotta book something here soon. OH! Which the theatre is totally cool about. If I need to leave for a tour or for a show that I book, they are so accomodating that my boss told me I would have a job whenever I returned from the gig!
I totally blew 2 auditions last week, and I mean they were terrible. one I went in and I simply ruined with not preparing my song beforehand... which my own idiocy. The other audition I went in unknowing I was actually going in, and sang my song off the cuff. I was so underprepared for this audition though, I actually told the pianist the wrong time signature of my song... yeah.
I learned a lot though from those two disasters. I plan on making every audition better. I am able to control my nerves in the room more and more and I am able to really place a person to deliver my scenes towards. The only thing is when I get nervous, or like last week when I was underprepared, I tend to furrow my brows and pull my arms into myself. It looks weak, and it looks unfitting of most of my songs. I have to remember to leave myself outside and really pull on the circumstances I have set for myself... and I am, slowly but surely.
This week I have sort of been into acapella music. I have missed singing in a group. So here is a reflection of that.

Joy

2009-09-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

I got nothin' but pure Joy. Today I had two job interviews. Tomorrow I have another job interview and a follow up with Starbucks... and I know it's a corporation and all that, but it would be a great job. I still have all of these barista skills I could put to good use!
Tomorrow I also have my first Hot Yoga Session. I am going alone. It will be an artist date for myself. At least it is going to start that way. I am incorporating it into my life so that I go at least four times a week. Hot yoga is a form of yogay that is simply in a hot room. The cool part about all this is it will increase my flexibility, help my relaxation techniques (as per Uta's training), get me in shape, and it will all be awesome. Plus it is super affordable. Yoga To The People is apparently a great organization and I am so happy to be a part of it.
Joy especially came today when I walked through my front door and saw a card on the table for me, from Michelle. This is the first card I have received ... in a long time. I opened it up and there was this beautiful poem and then inside was an even more beautiful picture of Reece with a great "New York" graphic underneath. Needless to say after I finished being really giddy over it, I stuck it to the refrigerator proudly. I plan on showing everyone. I am so happy to have a little picture reminder of such endless love. Joy. Pure Joy.
Tonight I share with you one of my favorite jazz singers, June Christy. Enjoy
.

Mother, Mother Ocean

2009-09-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first beach day I have had since coming to the city 9 weeks ago. It was well-replenishing. I am rereading The Artist's Way and it talks about how everyone, but especially artists need to refill their metaphysical, "well". It is a term instructing to replenish your creative resource. It is a really powerful analogy. The book suggests that you take yourself out on artist dates. These are outing you have to do on your own, and they can be whatever makes you happy, but it has to be something that you can do on your own. The book is phenomenal and really worth reading, if you are artist.
As I sat on the ocean's edge I realized that this incessant sound of the waves has really framed my life. This ocean has seen me for the entirety of my life. The ocean has seen some of my family's most joyous reunions. More than that it was there when the family started dwindling, and people started dying. The ocean was there as I grew up and it watched me as my interests grew along with my height. The ocean has been such a constant in my life.
Yesterday, more than anything, helped me realize that I can make it up here. Even when I want to quit, or mom is telling me I should come home, or I feel as though I am flippantly flailing my way through everything up here, the ocean steadied me. I will be able to survive up here, and more than I will be able to thrive and it will be absolutely beautiful.
This week has been a slow audition week, but that has given me a lot of time to look for jobs. I have an interview tomorrow, and I had 2 interviews on Monday. I am not sure anymore if I have a job at Roundabout anymore, just because of their lack of communication. So I am sure to find out soon enough. And one way or another I know Mama New York is going to open up the skies and come through for me. This is where I am meant to be for now, and I am finding my path and I am enjoying the journey the whole way.
Here is a song from the new cast of Hair. This show is beautiful. I have seen it 3 times now and it just gets more and more beautiful. This song is telling of my position I think.

A New Man

2009-08-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

Circle in The Square gave me a new freedom about myself. It gave me the ability to express myself in the truest way possible. It grounded me. That is such an ethereal term with such ambiguous meaning, but when you get it... you get it. It's a powerful thing to be able to tune into your senses more and more. It is all apart of my process, and we all have our own process. I learned so much about myself. More than that I have been able to take myself into audition rooms and really be present inside them. I have had great feedback so far from the directors within the room, and I really couldn't ask for more.
I had a breakdown last week. I felt like a failure, and I felt so unsuccessful. I have great friends though and great family who really reminded me I have only been auditioning for 2 weeks now and I have yet to begin in the long haul of this business. I just wanted to be clear and say the worry, doubt, frustration is all within me and present. I know it and I know how to access it, but I also know how to use it for motivation. I refuse to sit on those feelings and lament over my situation. I will pick myself up and really make something out of this whole journey I have been given.
It is hard to believe it has been almost 3 months since I last blogged. I have been writing so much, just not for a public venue. Writing for myself is something I hadn't done in so long, and when I did it was in a broken form, without logical thought processes. Circle in The Square's program really gave me that freedom to open myself and allow myself to use my writing as almost breathing. It allows for me to get out all of the bad and good thoughts and leaves me vulnerable for the rest of the day.
The classes there really were life changing. I wish I had been able to accomplish getting into the 2 year program, but I know that it is the universe's guidance. I found that I really have to trust the forces at be, and to live within the process. I am enjoying so much more now than I was before in looking for a result. I think there is so much freedom looking through the process, the journey. I am living in the questions.
Anyway I am feeling good about my place here. I am looking for jobs diligently, auditioning steadily for everything I can get my hands on, and I am open and accepting of whatever comes my way. I have confidence in myself, more so than before. I have more confidence and trust that I am where I should be. I am open, I am available, I am present, I ready. And if I falter, I falter, but I promise to work on it.
Here is to blogging again! I will be sure to keep anyone who still reads this posted as to anything that comes my way. I am expecting some things soon, but we I have the final word I will post!
Anyway here is to living the questions, living in the process and to what is to come in the future!
And here is a great video from an adorable girl, Julia Nunes playing the end of the Beatles' "Abbey Road" with her dad. Enjoy!

what am i doing

2009-06-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

nerves are keeping me
i can't sleep, and i haven't really slept in days.
here i am in new york city, my new home. i should be ecstatic, but i am more than nervous. can i start a life on my own? can i support myself? can i get everyone else out of my head and start focusing on me?
i don't even know where to begin. don't get me wrong. i am happy to be here. this is all i have been looking forward to in a year but now that i have it i don't know what to do with it.
i am so nervous. i want stability. i want a steady income. i want damn good training. i want auditions. i want a kick ass apartment. i want a lot. i have to make this all happen for myself and the thought of it is daunting, more than daunting.
so i can't sleep. i can't sleep at all. what am i doing?
more later...

Waisting Away

2009-06-11T16:29:00.001-07:00

Not a whole lot going on in the small town life of which I have assumed. I have been working, not working, and really just trying to make extra money wherever I can. I have had some fun while I have been down, but I miss my Asheville friends a lot. I also just miss that freedom that comes when you live away from home.
It is weird to think that the next time I gain such freedom with be in New York City. Oh! Speaking of the city, I have been looking for apartments and have a lot of options! I am really happy with that. I pretty much am covered, which is more than I could have hoped for, I think. I am happy about moving now. All there is left to do, is pack.
The low country is nice during this early summer phase. It is hot, but not too hot. It is always sunny with threatening afternoon storms. The humidity is so tangible. There is a stillness in the air in the evening here, mostly because of the heat. It is so peaceful. I really like this part of the South, and I am glad that I get to have some time with it to say my peace, and to part with it.
There is so much ahead for me. There is so much change coming. I couldn't be more happy about all of that, and I welcome it.
So lastly here is a video I have been obsessing over lately. Gavin Creel is god.

So... this is it?

2009-05-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have been a whole number of things these past few days. I change emotions quicker than the hour changes. I need to pick up my private journal for a lot of this... remember the old pen and paper? I need to.
I am literally living day to day right now. Figuring everything out day to day, hoping I am making the right decisions, never knowing if I actually am. My mind swims in a cesspool of half-brain ideas.
That's all I got.
oh wait- I just got netfilx. I love it. How did I live without it?
This video is great, and I want to sing this song soon.

Home?

2009-05-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

Honestly, there is a lot of questioning going on inside of me. I am home, but only for a short amount of time. I am in limbo. I am finding a job, I am working, I am trying to gather significant funds for a move to NYC, a move I plan to make in 33 days. I don't know that I am ready, that I can afford it, that I can do it. I choose to believe I can make this happen. I choose to believe that I will succeed in that city, and that studying at Circle in The Square this summer is the right choice for me. I am choosing to believe all of this. I am fully aware of that, but I have so much invested. I want so badly for this to be right. I want this to be the right timing, and the right everything. It's all that has been in my mind. I am home, but I am not. I have been busy getting things together. I have been busy. I am also not putting any roots down, on purpose. I refuse to remain comfortable here. I refuse to remain complacent here. I need out, and I want better. This is my chance. Hopefully I am doing the right thing.
"At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
right Isaac?
I guess I need to trust this, trust myself, trust the future.
These next 33 days are like a metaphor for a giant precipice I am approaching, and pretty soon it will be time to jump. Wish me luck.
Here is a show I am obsessed with as of today.

A Well Needed update

2009-05-11T22:27:00.001-07:00

Well ever since I discovered Twitter it has been hard to blog. I can't lie. Also a lot has been going on these past few weeks and it isn't until recently that I have been able to post.
Ok, so since April 3rd I produced another successful cabaret. The cabaret was so much fun and went so beautifully. I even recorded the entire thing, but I forgot to turn the microphone on. I know that was dumb, but I am doing another cabaret in Wilmington this Summer I think. I will record that one for sure with sound!
I also have had a few concerts, the audition in Wilmington for free theatre, and some miscellaneous odds and ends to tie up for graduation.
Oh, by the way, I am graduating!!!
I also went to New York City last week to audition for 3 conservatories. I auditioned for Atlantic Acting Studio, a 2 year program founded by David Mamet and mostly concentrating in the Meisner technique of acting with Mamet's twist. I auditioned for Circle in The Square Theatre School, also a 2 year program and the school that I want most. It has a 2 year musical theatre track which would be perfect for me. I also auditioned for Neighborhood Playhouse, the place where Sanford Meisner created his acting technique. I was accepted to Atlantic today, and pretty much guaranteed a spot in Neighborhood Playhouse. I am waiting to hear back from Circle in The Square. So think good thoughts and send good energy. I want so badly to attend that school, so I am sure to get it.
New York was beautiful. I met some beautiful people and had the time of my life. I met an amazing someone... who might turn into more than that. We are taking things very slow and enjoying ourselves along the way as much as possible!
I am so excited about the move to the city in the coming months. This week I have graduation on Saturday, a rehearsal on Friday, and I also am singing Duke Ellington's Mass on Sunday. I then leave for rehearsals on Monday for A Little Night Music. That show goes up in the first of the month. I haven't steadied a solid job yet, so if anyone has any ideas let me know!
That is all that is going on for now. Lots more coming up! Wish me well! I hope you all are great!

On My Way

2009-04-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

I love this song I think it is so great, and especially fitting right now. If you look back you will see that everything that is going on right now is something I wanted to happen last year. For whatever reason all of my dreams didn't come true last year; however, I think it has made me a stronger person. I don't know that I was ready for all of this last year. So it seems to be working to my benefit, which is how the universe works anyway I guess. Anyway I think I have landed a job for the Summer. I am moving to Wilmington to do their four shows this season, and that is really exciting for me. In three months you do four shows that run for a 3 weeks each. This season is made up of A Little Night Music, Schoolhouse Rocks, Smokey Joes Cafe, and Grey Gardens. I am really excited about it and I hope to do at least 3 of the shows.
All my applications are finished and ready to be sent out bright and early Monday morning. I will then call that day to schedule my auditions. Later on in the week I will book my ticket to NYC for auditions. Here it goes! NYC is only 30 days away.
In the midst of making plans and scheduling auditions for conservatories I am helping Kevin produce another Cabaret for this year. We are doing some awesome songs and I would really encourage EVERYONE to come out. It is April 18th at 8pm. This event will fill up quickly because the heavy interest... so come early!!!
Here is the song for which the blog is titled. This one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite composers, performed by one of my favorite performers.

Just as an update
Tomorrow: First Rehearsal for Bach
April 11th: Live Green Fest
April 18th: Cabaret
April 25th: Opera House Auditions
May 1st: Done with Classes
May 3rd: Bach Cantata
May 4th: NYC bound
May 16 Graduation
May 17th: Ellington Mass

keep me in your thoughts! lots of great stuff coming up!!!

YOU know how this works

2009-03-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

I get stressed out and I write a blog... basically it is how this works. It is more for me than it is for you, just so that I can keep everything straight and organize... or in case I ignore my "stickies" application on my mac. OK So I think I am broadening my conservatory auditions... I got turned down Friday, and that was a bit of a doozy. So I will now be auditioning for
Atlantic Theatre Acting School
Stella Adler Theatre School
Circle in the Square
Neighborhood Playhouse
and
Academy of Acting and Dramatic Arts
Ok so Those are the 5 schools I audition for, so that I can hopefully get into one of them. I also have my summer plans up in orbit right now. I gotta land something soon. I might go back to Wilmington for the Summer. I might go to Parkway Playhouse. I might go to New York early. I just haven't decided yet, and I probably won't decide until the friday after next (April 3rd). For some reason I have made April 3rd my big deadline.

Ok so my new schedule looks like this
March 25th (tomorrow)- Court Date for ridiculous wreckless driving charge (30 mph and I changed lanes... seriously) and Astronomy Test
March 27th- NO CLASSES!!!!!
March 28th- Audition for Parkway Playhouse
April 3rd- Turn in all audition applications for the above schools
April 4th- My first Bach Cantata rehearsal
April 10th and 11th- Live Green Music Festival
April 18th- Self-produced Cabaret
April 25th- Opera House auditions
May 3rd Bach Cantata
May 4th- Done with School
May 5th- Travel to NYC for 5 auditions... hoping to land one of them
May 16th- Graduation
May 17th Ellington Mass

no video today... too tired... lots to do tonight/tomorrow!

Workin'

2009-03-21T17:53:00.000-07:00

So much going on... sort of. I have an audition for Parkway Playhouse next weekend... so that is cool. I also have a lot of minor details to tie up this week. I also have to figure out exactly when this Bach cantata is... and learn the music... waaa waaa.
On top of all this school is finally on track, just to ensure any doubting minds. I know what you are thinking, and I doing well finally!
We have a concert tomorrow, where I will be singing the Haydn trio from Creation all over again. I will also be getting things in order for our cabaret coming up on the 18th. I mean it is Kevin's... but I am helping him along as much as I can.
April is turning out to be a really busy month. All of my weekends are booked in April, and then May comes. I am finished with classes on the 5th and then on the 6th I am flying up to NYC for my auditions at the conservatories (Circle in the Square and Atlantic Theatre School for those of you that forgot).
These next two months are gonna be soo full!
Spring Break was really nice, but I have to mention that I saw this phenomenal show. The Wild Party is a show Andrew Lippa wrote in 2001 for an off-broadway run, at the very same time there was one happening on bway. Well I like Lippa's version better, and I was only familiar with a few of the songs before this break. They did it at City Stage under Kendra's direction. It was brilliant. I really loved every minute of it. Everyone did such a nice job with the piece, and that made it one of the most pleasant theatrical experiences I have had in forever.
Here is a video from the show that they did at University of Michigan. This is the opening of Act 1. If you made it this far.... you should totally check it out!

How did I miss this???

2009-03-17T06:37:00.001-07:00

Guys you gotta watch this, even if you don't like musical theatre... ENJOY!

Lots going on today! Lots of errands and what not! Should be an awesomely productive one... AND check out that weather!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Back from Break

2009-03-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Spring Break was very good to me. I got to see and do so much.
I auditioned for Lost Colony. I saw Wild Party. Kristen came to town and I tried to show her a good time. I saw so many old friends. I had a really restful time.
So now that I am back I suppose I should get back into the idea of blogging. I have to admit I was a little hesitant to come back to Asheville. I am very tired of this place. I know things will pick up and before you know it (in 49 days) It will all be over. I guess I am just a little more than bored here.
I am going to busy myself with singing the Bach Cantata, getting my Circle in the Square audition ready, and hopefully preparing for a summer stock! I have two auditions left, but I really I hope I can land something!
Over break I did finish my FAFSA and also I did my taxes! However that is about the only productive thing I did other than my lone audition.
It is dreary here in asheville, but the weather is finally warming up. It is nice to wear flip flops comfortably once again. I always do enjoy Spring and Summer so much. I hope that this time around both seasons have a lot more in store for me!
So because I am in the middle of auditions I picked this song to put on the blog. I thought it was funny, but also it is the audition song in Last Five Years. This time it just has new lyrics.

Break is soon!

2009-03-02T22:38:00.000-08:00

Spring Break is in 4 DAYS!!! I can't wait! That means my audition is next week for lost colony. I get to see Mom's show, and Terrill's show! I am really excited to return home for a short respite! Especially from the snow we received yesterday. We had a snow day today, and a late start tomorrow!
So much is going on! Auditions now, I want to help with Jen's festival she is doing April 11th down in BoCo (Brunswick County). Then I have a cabaret, a Bach cantata, auditions to prep for with conservatories, another concert, essentially a month left of school, a trip to new york, and then summer starts. INSANE!!!!!
Last Friday night we had a phenomenal birthday blowout for me a 4 of my friends because we all have February birthdays... it was so much fun! The acapella groups had a concert and they brought in the G-Men from University of Michigan. It was huge! Then we had a great house party... ah I can't begin to describe the memories!
Anyway tonight has had me a Whitney Houston mood... but Natalie Weiss sings this song so well... so check it out if you haven't already!!!
Cheers!

Waiting for Life!

2009-02-28T08:10:00.000-08:00

Well, This past week has been so much fun. So much is going on right now. I just finished my first exam in astronomy... and not to worry, I did well! So I am on the road to graduation. I also, have been busy trying to find monologues, and after I finally sat down and picked one this week... I threw it away. So I am a little stressed out, because I am two weeks out and I have yet to even start a monologue. I do have 9 monologue books right now though. I plan on looking through those books and finding something today.
Last night we threw a huge party for collective 5 February birthdays. It was so much fun! The G-Men were in town for the acapella concert here on campus last night, so they came to the party. It was just a really fun time for everyone!
So the song that this blog is entitled is something that has really resonated with me lately. I am waiting for life to begin. This summer gig, if I get it, will be amazing and so much fun. I am waiting to audition for conservatory and get in, and start my life in a new place. So this song sits in my head a great deal lately. It is, "Waiting for Life" from Once on This Island. This is specifically from a benefit performance they had years after the show closed. Enjoy and have a great Saturday!

Will You?

2009-02-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

Well, It has been quite the week. I have had a birthday- and received so many sweet gifts. The celebration was a little tame, but next weekend should be more than enough to make up for it. It was Forrest's birthday two days after mine, so after a really nice night spent at the theatre we went home to a cake Kristen had made for us. It was a beautifully made Boston Creme pie from scratch. She also had gifts for me, which was more than nice. She is one of the sweetest friends I have ever had. I really cannot say enough about our friendship!
Kevin and I have planned a big "February Birthdays Blowout" party. Along with Kevin, three other friends of mine all had birthdays in February so we are doing a big celebration. I am then leaving Saturday to see the Carolina game with dad and courtside no less! So as you can imagine, this coming weekend will be quite the ordeal.
I only have two weeks left to prepare for my audition for the Lost Colony and I am so excited. I am getting closer, and better. I am going to do a big training session with Kristen once I get a little further along. Anyway so much excitement is going on!
Last night my uncle Harry and Aunt Erika showed up in Asheville and surprised Tara and I with dinner. It was probably the best meal we have had in months. They are really so much fun. Our family kind of rocks though.
This is the video in which this blog is entitled. I listened to this video almost a month ago, but I cannot get it out of my head. It has such a haunting melody and Christine Ebersole is so unbelievably gorgeous. Anyway here is a song from Grey Gardens performed by Mrs. Ebersole at Birdland

A Blast from The Past!!!

2009-02-15T17:17:00.000-08:00

This is a video my friend David just posted on Youtube. I think he did it so that another friend, Jenny, could use some of the choreography and elsewhere. This video brought back a rush of memories. This summer was memorable. I did four shows in one summer. I loved it. I met so many phenomenal people. I am hoping that this summer will be comparable to it, in that I will be performing everyday.
I hope everyone had a great Valentines day. Everything is sort of boring right now. However, I have a BIRTHDAY coming up in 5 DAYS! So I will be throwing some sort of Bash up here.. so that is exciting!
Anyway! Here is the video from Thoroughly Modern Millie.

Something New

2009-02-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

I decided to upload a video to Youtube of me singing. It is a song I am considering for the cabaret, but I just learned it tonight. I was in a practice room and turned on the macbook. Let me know what you think. I know there is a lot of room for polishing and whatnot- so specifics help the best! Thanks guys!

Consistently Happy

2009-02-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

So much is going on right now... but a lot of it is really good! Today I am working with Kristen to find two monologues. I am working on the Bach and a few other audition pieces with Melodie. Class is perfect. Everything is good. There are a few things I am worried about, but not enough to really mention them just yet.
It is hard for me to blog when things are so good!
I am pretty sure I have talked about this already, but my friend Jackie Burns is now in Hair on Broadway! Here is a video of her doing her solo "Black Boys" (She is the girl on the right) when they performed in the park with Public Theatre last year.

Obsessed

2009-02-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

I love everything about this video.
oh and in case you were interested... i have the best friends ever... and maybe a relationship?

What a Difference a Day Makes

2009-02-02T22:30:00.000-08:00

it was so warm this morning, and now it is snowing. Lots of stuff going on. I am working on a Bach Cantata, looking for audition monologues, and scheduling audition days. I am also on a weird sleeping schedule. please go to my facebook page and check out my new videos, they are funny.
Video for the day. Patti Lupone speaking English, but you need subtitles to see what she is saying. She has this amazing belt and no diction. Enjoy.

The Human Voice Can Do Amazing Things

2009-01-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

I saw three Metropolitan Opera singers last night, It was so inspiring. These people had voices of angels. I was so impressed with how well it was all put together. I can't even explain how beautiful it was. Cary, Lauren and I went and we have the best time together. I love them so much. We have been singers together for at least 3 years now, and the bond we have formed is really strong. Both of them have such talent and beauty.
One of the singers from last night was Angela Brown. She is a beautiful soprano who will be singing for Obama next weekend at Lincoln Center. I was really moved by her voice. I thought she had such a voice! So I am posting a video from a Verdi Opera she performed in Paris. Apparently, Verdi is her specialty. Anyway really enjoy this!

I don't wanna wait...

2009-01-30T11:21:00.000-08:00

Paula Cole has been sung a lot this week by me and Sarah... so I found it only fitting to entitle the blog to her... at least for today. It sort of serves as a double meaning in that I am tired of waiting for the auditions to come around. I am really excited. I am looking and gathering a lot of material for some summer stock auditions, and also for grad school/conservatory auditions. I am stoked!!!
Before I go any further I should mention I put up a link http://www.myspace.com/uncamozartrequiem This is a link so that you can hear me sing all of my solos from the Mozart Requiem this past fall. I know it took a long time to put up, and there still might be video coming... but not yet. Please listen and let me know what you think of what you hear!
I also just booked a gig for this spring doing a Bach Cantata (number 137 to be precise). I am really excited! I am not excited about the tenor aria at the end. It looks hard. I gotta do a lot of work to get it right!!!
Tonight I am going to see an opera with 3 metropolitan opera singers. I think it is going to be gorgeous, and I am pretty sure we get to hang out afterwards. I am going through the choral scholar program I got at First Baptist Church in Asheville.
Meanwhile life has been awesome. Class is going really well this time. Friends are great. There is a weird romance going on, but I am happy with it thus far. Things are really going well.
Oh! I enrolled in a tap class! I am learning tap! YEAH!

Here is a video I am obsessed with lately. I have to sing this soon. It is like all I can think of
!

OR do you like this version better?

oh boy!

2009-01-26T14:56:00.001-08:00

So sick! I don't know how I picked this up, but I am the biggest baby when it comes to sickness. Ugh. So class is going really well. I am also enrolled in a tap class now as well, which is especially exciting.
I sang a movement from Haydn's Creation yesterday and it was really beautiful. I think Melodie is going to have me sing it for the university. It is really beautiful.
I also think I picked up a side job! But I might get another one, I don't know.
I am drained I think. That is why I got this. While I have been in bed, trying to shake this, I have started watching Heroes and it is so good! I really like this show! I also was re-watching some clips on youtube from ellen. Especially this one. This video is hilarious. Enjoy.
note- the part where the little boy discovers he has to pee... and then after receiving a gift from ellen... walks away.
- the part where he describes the conversation between him and his girlfriend
- the worm

The BIG day!

2009-01-20T08:34:00.000-08:00

Here it is everyone! This is the day we worked so hard to get. I am so excited it is finally here! President Obama... it has a nice ring to it.
I am obsessed with this video and her voice. I have been for quite a while, but here is a marla mindelle.

Fixing all things broken

2009-01-18T10:43:00.000-08:00

My macbook suddenly broke Friday. I came back from class and it simply couldn't find it's hard drive. So I immediately got on the phone... and the Apple people were so helpful! I drove to Charlotte yesterday to drop off my macbook and the people in the store were even more helpful! They are going to take care of all of it and because I am still under warranty and everything, it is all free! For now, for this week I am bumming computers from labs, friends and such. I can't wait to get it back!!!
This whole church thing has gotten me thinking. Don't get me wrong, I am not investing myself in some indiscriminate diety. I have been on scholarship at First Baptist Church in Asheville to sing. They are a really progressive church with an open viewpoint about everyone's journey. They are really accepting. Anyway, the service today really opened up my eyes. I don't think it had anything to do with what the pastor was saying, but I did get to just think. So while I sat, I thought that I really need to embrace the love of my surroundings. I have a lot of friends, and I don't say that boastful. It is just to say that I am really lucky, and is time that I start appreciating all of the good vibes and love that I get from them. I really need to start opening myself to love. I also need to start listening to my conscious more. I need to start focusing my energy on positive things and keep that inward perspective available. I need to keep it more than available, I need to use it often!
I am a lucky guy. I don't need a relationship, a show, or other material things to prove that. I have exactly what I need. We all have exactly what we need. I have to start accepting that. I have to start accepting what the universe gives me, because it is what I need.
For the video of the day, it is a tough choice. To be honest, there were a lot of videos posted this week what with Scott Alan's concert, and some recently found youtube videos.
But I had to go with what I am singing in church next week. I am singing a piece from Haydn's Creation, "The Heavens are Telling the Glory of God". I think it is really going to be really gorgeous! I am stoked!

Back in the Saddle (would we call it that?)

2009-01-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

I am back at school...again. I gotta say yesterday was a little discouraging. I was really down on myself and whatnot, but today has been just the opposite. I feel inspired and motivated. I can get over this setback and com back full force.
Class was great, seeing everyone has been great, I live in a really great room with nice roomates, I have a kitchen... in a dorm room, and I am on my own once again.
This semester will be really nice.
Last night Tara and I went out to eat with mom downtown and had such a beautiful time. We then walked literally across the street to go to the Fine Arts Theatre. We watched Milk and between the three of us there was not a dry eye. It was such a beautifully shot film. It was really empowering and I was really moved by its message. When we got out of the theatre it was snowing really hard, which for me and mom was a nice change from the warm weather at the coast. It was beautiful. It snowed and snowed and snowed all night. So the three of us stayed up and just talked about what's going on and reminisced. It was really great. By the time we woke up this morning there was a good amount of snow on ground so we had a late start at school. Late Start was nice, but I still had a lot to accomplish today. I got about 80% of everything done. I have a few odds and ends to pick up here and there so I will do all that tomorrow.
So far, so good.
I just found out that the Zipper theatre is closing. CLOSING. This theatre is one of the premier theatres in midtown. Most of the videos I post on this blog come from the Zipper Theatre. This is a great space for artists to perform cabarets, do things, and it is CLOSING. THIS IS HUGE. I think ticket sales must have been down; however, the proprietor didn't give any reasoning. This is insane, and a direct result of our economy. This blows.
Anyway
For the video of the day- Exorcist: The Musical ... 'nuf said

Packing it up!

2009-01-11T08:12:00.001-08:00

Today I am packing up the majority of my life to move back to Asheville... and I gotta say I am sort of excited. I will be singing at First Baptist Church again, doing Duke Ellington's Mass. I will finish school. I will get one last Spring in Asheville, which is always beautiful. I will get to work and save lots of money. I will get to spend time with lots of friends. It should be really nice.
I found a new website for working out. It is sort of like a daily blog, but it just gives you simple instructions on how to work out. It works almost like a personal trainer. So I will be doing that in the gym now. I also am still running everyday, and so that is making me feel a bit better. I still have a lot of work ahead.
This break has had its ups and downs. I went to see a production of The Producers at City Stage, and it was pretty entertaining. Afterwards though I had the best time seeing everyone and then getting to spend time with Terrill and Katie. They are two of the sweetest people in the world, and so supportive.
2009 is going to be a big year for me, and that makes me anxious.
Here are pictures of me at the beach with Jasper our Cocker Spaniel. We had a great time yesterday. The entire time I have been home it has been unseasonably warm, thus the reason for shorts and short sleeves.

So here I come Asheville! And here I come 2009!

Well, Well, Well

2009-01-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

I have found a new audition song! More later.
First of all- I need to reread the secret. I have found myself in a constant pessimistic state lately, and that is not healthy at all. I need positivity in my life. I need to remember the good things. For some reason I don't think this will happen unless I reread the book... maybe it is the pessimism.
Break is wrapping up, finally. I can't wait to get back to Asheville.
So the audition song I found is something I saw performed last year at an Off-Broadway show called Make Me a Song. This show was one of the best shows I have seen in New York City. It was phenomenal, and this song was really beautiful. The guy who sang it didn't do it this justice that this guy does it. So I have now got to find an arrangement in this key, or transpose it myself. Either way this is a great song.
The guy you hear at the beginning is William Finn introducing the song at Joe's Pub.

Monday, Monday

2009-01-05T09:11:00.000-08:00

I was just youtubing again and found DAN BOGART on youtube!!! He was in Smokey Joe's Cafe with Terrill at Flat Rock Playhouse. I was really lucky to become friends with all of that cast, and Dan and I still talk pretty often. What he never told me is that he was in the graduating class from CCM with Shoshana Bean! oh snap! so here is a video of him singing. You can totally tell he was in les mis for like 5 years... bless. One of the nicest people, ever.

I simply had to post this

2009-01-03T16:54:00.001-08:00

Big Plans!

2009-01-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

This application process is a lot more fun than I thought it would be, for grad/conservatory programs that is. I am having a blast filling them out. Manhattan School of Music's application is probably the most thorough. I am encouraged just by filling them out. Also I am looking at summer stock places.
The theatres I am considering are:
Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera
Actors Theatre in Louisville
Richmond Triangle Players
Mercury Summer Stock in Ohio (allow Last Five years to run through your head now... at least it did with me)
Also I am listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, and I had forgotten how amazing this album is. I also got the new Beyonce album, which is pretty ballin'.
I mean I am still in Southport, I am still in the old Port City Java, but I am encouraged. I know that I can do this. I have big plans for 2009. It is about time things started looking up, and this is just the start. Finally.

breathe deep

2009-01-02T10:44:00.001-08:00

Well last year ended poorly... in more ways than one. I can say with an honest heart that 2008 was sort of a giant flop for me. Thus the reason I haven't blogged at all. One bad thing after the next seemed to have plagued me. I won't dwell on any of it. I have big plans for this year.
I am graduating in May. I am working in professional theatre this summer. I am moving to New York in the fall. I am attending conservatory in the fall.
Lots to plan for, and a lot is going on. It will be an exciting new year.

A few resolutions I made this year.
1) Carry myself better, and communicate with others more efficiently.
2) Run, and run often
3) Own what is going on around me, and embrace the positive.
4) Graduate
5) Move out and to the City
6) Continue education in the fall

None of these are that extravagant, but they will take a bit of planning, something I have already taken a great deal of initiative in doing. I am excited and energized by what is coming up. This year will facilitate a great deal of change, but I am encouraged.
2009. Bring it on.

for the video portion: some of you may have seen this. It is a show called Perez Saves the Universe. This is a song from that show called the Assistant. Basically this show is about Perez Hilton's life. It is hilarious... watch and see.

I totally lied

2008-12-07T20:36:00.001-08:00

I saw Seussical this weekend. I was so funny! Here is a song from the show that has sort of been running through me.

Disappearing for about 2 weeks

2008-12-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

So guys in my last attempt to graduate I will be disappearing from the Blogosphere for about 2 weeks. I will essentially be done with classes and whatnot by next week, but I leave for DC Thursday morning. So Then I will be at the White House until the 16th. When I get back I will return with glory. This year I need your good vibes, thoughts and prayers to help me finish out this last astronomy course. It is going to be tight, but I think I can do it just fine. I just have to buckle down and get everything right for the next week. Upon returning from singing at the White House, I will be graduating 4 days later, singing Handel's Messiah the day after graduation..and then my load lightens up a great deal. I cannot wait for all of this to be over with. I am sorry that until then I will be nonexistent... but think of me and send up good thoughts for me. Here I go!!!
So because I will be gone for a while here are three videos of an event I should have been at this past weekend. Scott Alan had a cd release party at barnes and noble in Lincoln Center... here are three performances of that!
Best Wishes for everyone!

Thanksgiving... and the implications therein

2008-11-27T19:46:00.000-08:00

What a day. This typifies Americana culture. Thanksgiving is like one of two days out of the entire year when everyone within the 50 states makes a pilgrimage to some place they consider home, no matter how crummy, awkward, awful, etc. this place this really is. Family members come together, no matter how much they dislike each other, and feign niceties. What a day!
I am going to say this without being so cynical.
I like my family for the most part.
I also want to say that this Thanksgiving particularly I came to side and even draw similarities between family members and myself.
My family is not perfect. They are, for the most part, accomplished. They are awkward. They are loving. They are weird. They are partly racist. They are conspiracy theorists. They are pessimists. They are optimists. They are rude. They are surprisingly nice.
They are my family.
I say that from the innermost core of my heart. I love them, which is weird, but I do. They aren't great people, but I choose to love them regardless. This Thanksgiving really allowed me to see how much I actually identify with my family and I don't for the most part. However, these people are my blood, my heritage, mine. I can see what I came from, which is a huge spectrum and make the best out of it. I hope to make the best of it.
This Thanksgiving was not a bad day, but a learning experience more than anything...
I wanted to put this video on here, because I thought about it today on the way back from Hope Mills. This sort of fits into this post in a weird way. It is a song from Title of Show in a cool music video interpretation. First of all, this show is a great concept. I think that this show really helps further the conversation on the future of musical theatre and where it lies. Does Broadway mean showy Disney? Or should it be about talent and about creativity. Should musicals focus on movies and bring in star power to boost ticket sales, or should they pick the best talent? I think my preferences are evident. This song makes this more clear. This song is about not compromising yourself. This is about being the best that you can be, and putting yourself out there for everyone. I think for me, this song is more about loving my family and finding my fit within it. This is about not compromising myself for others... even family. So here it is
!

stressed

2008-11-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

I have no words... just an update
I have a lot on my plate right now. I don't know how to get through all of this. I need an altruistic deity's help... now.
here is a song I wanted to put on my blog.
Happy Holidays?

Such Memories

2008-11-12T19:14:00.000-08:00

Nights like these, cool and crisp, remind me of home. The moon is so bright and the air feels almost alive. I can imagine what the ocean looks like right now, with the moon hanging above. I am a little homesick when I feel like this and I feel nights like these. What a beautiful night.
My new picture is one I took during my freshman or sophomore year in college. It is right downtown Southport. A great place to read. You wouldn't go swimming there clearly, but I can see the ferry going by. I think is a nice picture.
This weekend coming up means that I will be singing the Tenor solos in Mozart's Requiem. I am starting to become really confident in them. Their are such beautiful movements within the piece. By singing the solos I have learned so much more that I ever have singing classical pieces in the past 2 or 3 years. The lines of the music, the phrasing, the harmonies and so much more make this work brilliant. It is really a beautiful piece. My heart still lies in musical theatre, but classical music has opened so many facets of musical theatre for me. Because of classical training, I sing better and healthier. I sing smarter. I am constantly awed by classical pieces. I think it is something that should always stay with any musician. It offers so much as a genre, no one should ignore it. Classical music is for everyone.
Anyway I also have quite the dirty room and it needs to be cleaned. I also have parents coming in for this weekend. That should be fun. I also have a paper to write, but I will put that off until tomorrow night, because tonight is to beautiful and I need a respite.
While I am hanging out here is a video of the first movement the soloist sing. It is called Tuba Mirum. It is not the best recording, but it isn't bad. Enjoy!

What a Life!

2008-11-11T06:25:00.000-08:00

This weekend lumped together with Monday has been quite the experience.
Friday we had a final dress rehearsal for the benefit. That was stressful, for me at least. I then came home and prepared the song list and whatnot for the next night.
Saturday night went amazingly well. Every seat was full. We even had to pull in extra seating for people. I would say 100 people showed up? Something like that. It was great. The crowd was really into it. They pulled out their cell phones during Kevin's "Can You Feel the Love tonight". They cheered Ashley as she sang, "Fever". They laughed so generously when Kristen and I did "Follow Your Heart". It was really a great night, and I have to say I was proud. I possibly put on one of the better university events single-handedly. I am not going to say it wasn't hard. It was really hard. I will never, ever, again criticize someone's directorial skills... or at least for another month. That is about the recoup time I need. It will be hard for me to put something like this on again, but I know I will. Being in New York, hopefully in conservatory, I will want to showcase friend's talents all the time, along with mine. I think It is a great way to put yourself out there and have a blast. This was sort of like me on training wheels. Now I think I know what to expect and can handle something a little meatier.
Monday I had comps. Competency tests are essentially tests to measure everything you have learned in your major, ever. It was daunting. Needless to say I didn't get to study until Sunday night/Monday morning. I went in there a little cautious; however, when I saw the test questions I knew I had it in the bag. Basically you would have had to have been dead for the past 4 years to now know that test. It was the big stuff, the stuff that matters to Print Journalists. The tests questions were on: The Penny Press, Kennedy/Nixon Debates and broadcast's impact on Presidential debates, Libel, Uses and Gratifications Theory, and Cultivation. I was totally fine. That was a big sigh of relief.
Then I slept for 4 hours, during the DAY! I never do that, but I was so exhausted! After sleeping I had a presentation to do in my Roman Religion class, which I did ok in... I probably should have prepared a little more, but she goes easy on me since she knows I am not a classicist. I think this is a fair consideration since I haven't heard of most of the terms or cults before this semester.
Last night Graham, Forrest, Kristen, and I made our way out to The Rocketclub here in West Asheville. I think it is a really neat place with terrible trendy-esque seating and cheap drinks. The Asheville Jazz Band plays there every Monday night and Melodie my voice teacher) sings. So we go and here these great orchestrations. It is really a blast. Kristen has taught me some swing dancing moves which are pretty sweet, so we are working all the kinks out. I always have so much fun going there, and it is a nice way to start the week out.
Oedipus for Kids: the Musical rehearsals start up friday. I am going to have to tell the director that I cannot make a lot of the rehearsals. I will make as many as I can, but until things start to lighten up I just can't put anything else on my plate, and we don't open until January anyways. I am really excited about this show though. It will be my first and last time working at NC Stage, so that is pretty cool. I also get to work on a fairly new work. BALIIN'!
Hmmm sooo video of the day, I have no idea what to put up....

.... 20 minutes later... I found this. It is the song "Blackbird" written by the Beatles, sung by Broadway boys. It is short... ENJOY!

Si Se Puede!!!

2008-11-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

WE DID IT!!!! I cannot tell you how happy I have been for the last 22 hours. What a great day for our country. We can overcome fundamentalist idiots, people scared of assuring equal rights, fear incentives in endless wars, holds on women's lib, religious rhetoric, and other awful side effects of Republicans in power. Thank god we are out of the dark ages. Here comes the hope, here comes the change, here comes our future. We did it! I was so happy.
I was happy even through the four, long rehearsals that I had. I was happy through my classes and the ridiculous news that I have to take comps. Comps are, for those who don't know, sort of placement tests to scale all of your knowledge that you ever learned in the entirety of your degree. I was initially out of taking them, because of old rules combining with new ones. I have to take them now though, and that blows. I was happy though, even when I did terribly in my Mozart Requiem voice lesson. I was happy even when I had to wake up at 6:30 AM for an 8 o'clock doctor's appointment.
I had a really long day, but I am still hopeful and I am still happy. We have the tools for change. Thank god.
Now I just have to graduate, and sing until I am so tired of singing that I won't do it again... or at least for another week.
Here is your video, Obama's acceptance speech. It was beautiful.

Oops, I did it again

2008-11-03T05:49:00.000-08:00

I got too busy again. Damn. This is hard.
OK so I am working really hard in my classes right now to ensure graduation. I am also trying to balance about 8 million different things. I am behind on the tenor solos for Mozart's Requiem. Those needed to be learned yesterday, so I have a lot of work to do. I also have to juggle work between rehearsals and what not. I also have rehearsals coming up for Oedipus for Kids soon... like in a week. But the thing that is giving me the most stress is this benefit I have created for next weekend. This has been the most stressful thing I think I have ever done in my entire life. I want it to be good, but I have never been in charge before. I am dying. It is so hard to get everyone in one place and to get everything to work seamlessly. We are a long ways out. We have three rehearsals... that's it. Goodness
Halloween was a blast, but honestly I could have spent that time partying doing something much more productive. Time is everything these days. Nevertheless, our party was the absolute best. We had Kitty Litter cake, Mud Pudding, decorations, fog machines, a strobe light, fake blood, a bonfire, lots of alcohol, and best of all we all had a great time! It was insane! I went as Bristol Palin's baby daddy. I wore an Obama button though, cause you know he wants to get that kid aborted. He is so young! So that was funny.
So my day today- in case you are interested, has a rehearsal from 10-11:30, another from 12:30 to 1:30 class from 1:45- 2:30, a break, and class from 4- 5:30 and then another rehearsal from 6-8.
I am honestly going to be exhausted beyond measure. Creating stuff sucks, but in the end I think it will be really good. It is just getting there that is the hardest part. I honestly never thought we would get this far, but here we are, well on our way to a great show. Shew.
SO here is a song from a recent Pasek and Paul showcase... the dissonance in this piece is beautiful.
Happy Monday everyone!!!

Overdue Update!

2008-10-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so a lot is going on. Sorry I haven't been catching everyone up, I am trying to catch up. Monday I got cast in a musical at North Carolina Stage Company. This is a great playhouse, so I am really excited to be working with them. It is a cast of three, so I am a lead! That is very cool. The show is Oedipus for Kids: The Musical. The script is hilarious because, clearly, this show is not for kids. It is a show within a show, so I play two characters: Evan, and Oedipus. I am so excited about this show!
I also got asked, along with a few others, to return to the White House and sing for their Christmas Gala again. I am really excited about going back and doing this all over again. It was such a fun experience and this time around I will actually get to enjoy all of it.
So that is a lot of the good news. Things are well, busy, but well. Classes are getting into the eleventh hour, which is a little nerve racking. I also am still working on pulling everything together for my benefit which goes up November 8th. The problem is I have a concert the 2nd, 8th, and 16th... well two on the 16th. I am singing the Tenor Solo's for Mozart's Requiem on that date, and then on the 15th I am singing in Handel's Messiah.
Also I want to rant a little about my Greek/Roman religion class. I do not get your classicist jokes. I do not understand latin all that well. I do not get puns on ancient indo-european cultures. I hate feeling out of the club. It would be worse if I didn't know that most of you in the class are self-conscious dweebs that will never live the life you want. I am glad you get your kicks off of understanding ancient Etruscan myths, but I don't, so don't judge me.
No video for today. I am tired, a little irritable, and too anxious to sort through my pile. I hope you all are well though. Get ready because things are about to get a little hectic up here for me.

Hello Everyone!!!

2008-10-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

Well I have had quite the weekend. As you can imagine there are numerous stories from my last weekend. I can't even begin without sounding pretentious or bragging. I had so much fun coming home as well. We chilled out in a park close to Kristen's house and played frisbee all day yesterday.
Classes started back today and things went really smoothly. Things for the benefit are coming along really well also. I can't explain how happy I am about everything lately.
Today I also got hit on, THREE TIMES. I am sorry maybe you didn't catch that. HIT ON. I GOT HIT ON! HA! THREE TIMES!
wow... who knows where any of that will go, but the chances of that ever happening again are slim to none. I was impressed with myself!
I don't really have any videos... I am sort of good right now. I am really happy about everything going on in my life right now... and things are well indeed.
Oh except I am struggling with this weekend's plans. I know I know... hopefully everything will go off without a hitch, but I have no idea how it will all happen just yet.
Hmmm I think I just changed my mind about the video this is a cool version of "carolina in my mind"
ENJOY!

Surreal

2008-10-12T06:10:00.000-07:00

This whole thing is so insane. I sat in the Chancellor's box at the Notre Dame/UNC game yesterday. Not only that, I got to go on the field, and hand out with the ram, Ramses, and not the guy that dresses up as the ram... the real thing. We have handlers for this weekend... HANDLERS! Needles to say I drank about 3 bottles of wine in all yesterday on my own. Also, we had a swanky party last night which was a blast. OH! I got to pregame at a frat party.... a FRAT party! HA! I mean this is insane. I have a vallet taking care of my car. There are people to bother with our things... I should ALWAYS live like this.
I just couldn't take it all in yesterday.
This is really nuts. My Uncle is the Chancellor of UNC.... SWEET!
That's really all I can write right now. I didn't sleep at all last night because I got in late from a different party with my cousins late, and then dad snored ALL night. UGH.
So this hangover and lack of sleep is gonna require a lot of attending before I can go out later on today.
Here is a video of my uncle playing Johnny Be Good.... and he is Chancellor now. WEIRD!

For Clarity's Sake

2008-10-07T07:49:00.001-07:00

I realize now I was sort of unclear and sporadic in my last post. My heart hurts. I am trying to pretend like it doesn't, but it does. I am trying to go on, but every now and then it hurts a little. This is causing me to write without a thought pattern.
First of all, I am contemplating whether or not I should move to Wilmington in January, or if I should stay in Asheville, or if I should just move up to NYC. I am also considering the repercussions of all of these actions. I have no idea what I want, for the first time in a long time. I imagine it is more of a choice between Wilmington and The City.
I never want to be in a relationship. This is the closest I think I have ever come, and they suck. They suck more than gefelta fish on Passover. Too much risk, vulnerability, and the recovery time is unknown/SUCKS.
Anyway here is a song... sort of what I have been thinking in my mind. It is Audra McDonald, so you know it is good.

I climbed a mountain to find myself

2008-10-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

Not the easiest few days. This weekend was something of a disaster. I did things I wasn't necessarily proud of, said things I didn't really mean, and essentially ended up in a place I didn't really imagine myself being.
So I hopped on the parkway in good ole Kristen Marshall fashion, and went and sat on top of a mountain and thought. I tried to talk to myself, but nothing really came of that. So I started writing, and I had an entire 5 pages spill out of me onto paper. It was apart of that whole stream-of-consciousness thing. I finished and I felt good, really good. Then I sang. I sang really loud on top of a mountain. I sang and listened to my echo, listened to the birds. It was good. The best therapy ever.
I did get through midterm week though, and I was able to go to a great house party this weekend. I also sang in a not-so-bad concert.
This week should be much easier. I am going to buy some clothes for the installation this weekend, go to classes which will be infinitely easier since midterms are done, and finishing working for a few days.
I decided yesterday that I am going to be single for quite some time. I feel as though I have jumped from thing to thing for too long now. And maybe I haven't, but I feel that way. I am good. I am great. I don't need anyone for verification. And I can enjoy myself for a while without worrying to find someone.
I am looking forward to this new outlook on singledom. I love myself, and now I will be able to actually enjoy it.
So through the shit, came good. There was good at the end, and I think I have found it.
Good.
Here is a video from the Wild Party, which I am super stoked about auditioning for at City Stage. This isn't a song I would sing of course, it IS just one of the many reasons I love the show. This would actually be my first City Stage show, if you can imagine that, and a great way to leave Wilmington. So, here is the video!!!

watch the debates tonight for another reason to not vote for mccain!

2008-10-02T08:49:00.001-07:00

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

ENJOY that

also I am beginning to dislike work... what should I do?

midterm season.....(insert angry profanity here)

2008-10-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

DUDE! this week sucks. So much pressure! and midterms!!!!

annnnd I'm done

help?
I hate greek religion and astronomy.... SO MUCH!!!

Can't I just have an honorary degree?

A lot is up in the air. My mind is sort of reeling from this past week. A lot to take in. Shit.
But the benefit is coming along quite well! I haven't even done much for it, and it is still coming along terribly well. I am excited about it!

Anyway watch the debates Thursday night at 8 for another reason to vote for Obama/Biden!

Here is a video... because I would much rather do this than STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and it has to do with what has been going on here lately... of course!! SO ENJOY IT!

Back at the Beach

2008-09-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

it is good to be home. Just had a great dinner with mom and dad, and now all we are doing is waiting on the debates.
McCain comes in to sweep the American people off their feet for the debates tonight, this should be interesting. A man who gave up his campaign for the greater economic good of the people, and then was told to leave DC by the leader of the free world, is back to prove why he should be president.
God help us.
VOTE BARACK/OBAMA!!!!
and i am home with my dog... so I have to go because he needs my attention
see!

That's my dog!!!
YEA!
soo GOOD LUCK OBAMA!!!
everyone think good thoughts for him!!
Here is your video for the day!

OBAMA 08!!!

Grey's Anatomy is BACK

2008-09-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of packing to do... because I LEAVE tomorrow!! wooooooo!!!!
Coming to Wilmington, so everyone down that way, get excited!!!!
Grey's Anatomy also starts back tonight. Kristen, Graham and I are having a party tonight in its honor. We are excited. Also I don't know if you know, but Bernadette Peters is going to be on tonight's episode. YES! Who doesn't want to see her? I know I do. Anyway Gas is still bad. I am going to have to stay in line tomorrow to get gas. I am going to leave around 3... hopefully. We'll see if I can because of the gas thing. I would like to be in town early enough to see the presidential debates, but I can always youtube them.
So in honor of tonight, here is video of Mrs. Peters. One of the best renditions of the song... ever.

Imagine: There's no Gas... If only someone had told John Lennon

2008-09-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

So its bad, the gas shortage is bad. People are waiting in line up here for miles upon miles to get gas. I never realized how dependent I was on gas until I hit quarter of a tank yesterday. I am thinking I can get gas on my way out of town Friday, but I might wake up early tomorrow morning and try and find a station whose gas lines were just refilled, that way I will only have to sit in line for about an hour or so. Thats how bad it is. People are sitting in line for hours. Who knows what could happen. Fights could start up, tempers could flare up, it is getting vicious up here.
In other news I have made some big decisions lately. I talked with Roxanne recently, also with Kristen and some other friends. I think i am delaying my trip to NYC. This means I will not plan to move up until later in the next year. This is so that I can save more money and be absolutely ready for my move up to the city. I have also decided to audition for Circle in the Square conservatory and attend their training for 2 years. I am really excited about that. I need professional training and this will be a great venue for me to get exactly what I need. It will also give me time to get ready, and a purpose to go. These are all really good things.
So that is big news.
I am going home this weekend, which I am even more excited about. This is sort of an impromptu trip home, but I think it is more than worth it.
Oh also- is anyone else worried about the economy? I mean I clearly don't have anything invested, but that is a little stressful to me. I am just saying. We need to get that fixed.
This is what happens when you keep republicans in office for too long.
Oh! I had some Germans come into the winery the other day, and they were so nice. They lived in East Berlin up until the Berlin Wall fell in 1989. They had such amazing stories. These people were essentially heroes. They lived through a failed communist regime. The couldn't leave Germany for 10 years after the Wall fell simply because they had no money. I sat and listened to them talk for so long, simply because it was fascinating. These people had stories and life experiences I may never face.
I felt like I learned more in their 30 minutes than I have at all in my last 4 weeks back at school.
They were amazing people, and it just goes to show what sort of people live in this world. There are a lot of amazing people out there, and that is really comforting.
So I am going to attach a video, of course, but I am also going to attach an email my mom sent me. I think it is something Garrison Keeler, the host of Prairie Home Companion, put on his website. I would encourage you all to read it, because there is a lot of truth in his writing.

By Garrison Keillor
Sept. 10, 2008 | So the Republicans have decided to run against themselves. The bums have tiptoed out the back door and circled around to the front and started yelling, "Throw the bums out!" They've been running Washington like a well-oiled machine to the point of inviting lobbyists into the back rooms to write the legislation, and now they are anti-establishment reformers dedicated to delivering us from themselves. And Mayor Giuliani is an advocate for small-town America. Bravo.

They are coming out for Small Efficient Government the very week that the feds are taking over Fannie and Freddie, those old cash cows, and in the course of a weekend 20 or 50 (or pick a number) billion go floating out the Treasury door. Hello? Do you see us out here? We are not fruit flies, we are voters, we can read and write, we didn't just fall off the coal truck.
It is a bold move on the Republicans' part -- forget about the past, it's only history, so write a new narrative and be who you want to be -- and if they succeed, I think I might declare myself a 24-year-old virgin named Lance and see what that might lead to. Paste a new face on my Facebook page, maybe become the Dauphin Louie the Thirty-Second, the rightful heir to the Throne of France, put on silk tights and pantaloons and a plumed hat and go on the sawdust circuit and sell souvenir hankies imprinted with the royal fleur-de-lis. They will cure neuralgia and gout and restore marital vigor.
Mr. McCain has decided to run as a former POW and a maverick, a maverick's maverick, rather than Mr. Bush's best friend, and that's understandable, but how can he not address the $3 trillion that got burned up in Iraq so far? It's real money, it could've paid for a lot of windmills, a high-speed rail line in Ohio, some serious R&D. The Chinese, who have avoided foreign wars for 50 years, are taking enormous leaps forward, investing in their economy, and we are falling behind. We're wasting our chances. The Republican culture of corruption in Washington hasn't helped.
And a former mayor of a town of 7,000 who hired a lobbyist to get $26 million in federal earmarks is now running against the old-boy network in Washington who gave her that money to build the teen rec center and other good things so she could keep taxes low in Wasilla. Stunning. And if you question her qualifications to be the leader of the free world, you are an elitist. This is a beautiful maneuver. I wish I had thought of it back in school when I was forced to subject myself to a final exam in higher algebra. I could have told Miss Mortenson, "I am a Christian and when you gave me a D, you only showed your contempt for the Lord and for the godly hardworking people from whom I have sprung, you elitist battle ax you."In school, you couldn't get away with that garbage because the taxpayers know that if we don't uphold scholastic standards, we will wind up driving on badly designed bridges and go in for a tonsillectomy and come out missing our left lung, so we flunk the losers lest they gain power and hurt us, but in politics we bring forth phonies and love them to death.
I must say, it was fun having the Republicans in St. Paul and to see it all up close and firsthand. Security was, as one might expect, thin-lipped and gimlet-eyed, but once you got through it, you found the folks you went to high school with -- farm kids, jocks, the townies who ran the student council, the cheerleaders, some of the bullies -- and they are as cohesive now as they were back then, dedicated to school spirit, intolerant of outsiders, able to jump up and down and holler for something they don't actually believe. But oh Lord, what they brought forth this year. When you check the actuarial tables on a 72-year-old guy who's had three bouts with cancer, you guess you may be looking at the first woman president, a hustling Evangelical with ethics issues and a chip on her shoulder who, not counting Canada, has set foot outside the country once -- a trip to Germany, Iraq and Kuwait in 2007 to visit Alaskans in the armed service. And who listed a refueling stop in Ireland as a fourth country visited. She's like the Current Occupant but with big hair. If you want inexperience, there were better choices.

oh and one more video... i mean... why not!

soo..

2008-09-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not happy. and i am not really sure why... I guess I need to do some of that "count your blessings"
ughh
let me think
yup
still not happy... i wish i at least had a reason...
maybe its too much work? too much everything
too much

over it

but here is a video to cheer you... well mainly me- up!

a couple other things

2008-09-17T09:58:00.001-07:00

i am excited about seeing these two musicals

and another one from the same show!

those kids are too talented for their own good!

and then the show that has 19,032 key changes in its title song.... notice the musical stylings of allison janey... hahaha, she kills it (?) just kidding! who doesn't love her from west wing? but i love her and the show should be fun...

New colors!

2008-09-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

New colors! new picture! new blog stuff! really exciting!

It is a great day!

2008-09-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

This is a great video. ENJOY!

PS- DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ZEUS? I have to give a presentation today about him.... ughhhhh.

Now things are getting busy all over again!

2008-09-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

It is officially Fall. I am busy again. I love it. You knew that.
Work is going well, keeping me busy and making me money! These are always good things.
I have also been working the Mozart Requiem which is really nice and I am feeling more and more confident in each day. This peice has been a real challenge. It is definitely not something I have ever sung, and it is in a style I rarely use. So I am really beefing up my classical voice in order to pull this off. I am suppose to be in the three other singing ensembles besides this one but it seems that I just can't make rehearsals lately. I am sure it will turn out fine... i think.
Classes are fine. I have a presentation Monday on Zeus for my greek religion class. I know nothing about Zeus. So my free time this weekend will be putting that together. Astronomy class is fine as well. I believe that this time around I got it, and I will graduate... finally.
However the BIG news is I decided this week to put on a benefit. THIS IS EXCITING!!!! I already have my people chosen and ready. About 80% of the songs have been chosen. We have our first meeting in two weeks. We will rehearse at a minimum to ensure efficiency and proficiency. Then we will put it up! This is a benefit to support the arts within the Asheville community, and with its performers. There will be a spectrum of songs. One girl is singing some of her original indie stuff. One girl is singing some great jazz standards. One girl is singing musical theatre greats. One guy is singing R&B tunes. Another guy is singing some classsic oldies. I am singing musical theatre tunes. This should be good! This will really be for anyone, because of the array of songs. It will also feature some of the best singers I know in this area. It should be a great show and a great time for everyone.
YOU need to know the dates! These are things to remember and keep with you. If you forget, reference THIS blog. Do NOT forget about these dates.

Trevor's Benefit:
November 7th or 8th (date to be determined) in the Highsmith Student Union Grotto
at 8pm
FREE admission, however a donation of 5 dollars will be requested (BELIEVE ME it will be more than worth it)
Singers include: Lauren Habernicht, Ashley Banks, Kristen Pallotta, John Coggins, Kevin Koyasu, and ME!

This benefit will include songs that you won't hear outside of NYC cabarets. It will also include great jazz, and rock&roll standards. We will cover R&B favorites, new indie stylings, and exceptional talent all around.
COME!

ALSO

November 16th
Mozart Requiem
I am singing the tenor solos!
First Baptist Church in Asheville
8pm

COME TO THESE EVENTS!
SUPPORT THE ARTS!
SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS!

a song I will be singing at the benefit- CHECK IT!
(sorry about the poor video quality- but the sound is still good!)

Busiest Life EVER

2008-09-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy lately. I like being busy, and everything seems to be fitting together well. All this busy has caused me to really manage my scheduling, or at least be more mindful of it. I feel like I haven't talked at all about my new job, so here it goes.
I have been working at the Biltmore Estate Winery. It is a pretty interesting job. I have learned a lot about wines so far, and I really like talking to the people that come through. It is cool to see how wine is made and all of the processes. We also got invited to go stomp grapes one day to help make the wine, and that is pretty bad ass. I have felt a little bit like an intern, like on Grey's Anatomy, but maybe that's because we have only been watching Grey's Anatomy at our house lately. It is an interesting job though, and seems to do well with my scheduling.
I also sang at the First Baptist Church here this weekend for the first Sunday, and it is surprisingly less sketchy than I imagined it. The pastor actually stood in the pullpit and said, "Fundamentalist are a misrepresentation of Christianity". I thought that was a bad ass statement. The people there are really nice though, and I have had a great time so far! They make me think that perhaps religious people aren't all crazy republicans banning things they will never know or understand or come in contact with at anytime. This is not to say that I am becoming religious, I just appreciate their stance on Christianity. It is a nice deterrent from the mainstream.
I also am going to start working on Mozart's Requiem this week. That is really great. I am so excited to sing the tenor solos- so that is ballin'!
Oh and today, The Chubby Swim Club starts back up... SCORE!
Umm here is a funny video from a Cabaret entitled "Broadway Loves the 80's"... haha. Enjoy that.

Good News!

2008-09-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got an audition for a paying acting gig in Asheville at the Diana Wortham Theatre!! I was really excited! I also started up singing for the church I am working with, and everyone there is so nice. I really enjoyed it!
These are all good things! Finally I am getting paid to do what I want to do!
The RNC wasn't awful last night, or as awful. At least last night I didn't get nauseous. But it is going to be a few days before I can look a republican in the eye and actually think they are a good person.
I think I have this place to myself for the weekend. WEIRD! I still have a busy weekend. Work, audition, singing at church, more work... I am such a nerd.
I really don't have much time, because I have to run so many errands today and go to class! But here is a video I have been watching a lot of lately. Enjoy!

straight from the "angry" left

2008-09-02T20:04:00.000-07:00

I took an impromptu visit to the beach this weekend and had a blast. Highlights include:

Running a 5K
Going to the beach
Seeing You're a Good Man Charlie Brown
Catching David and Heather's going away party
Making a new friend
Seeing Natalie before she left for Russia
Going on the Boat with my dad
Sitting on a barrier island all day
Spending time with my dog
Running up to ECU to see Jenny

Needless to say, this weekend was EPIC and a whole lot of fun. So that is the short of it.

So I get back to Asheville just in time for the RNC and I have been watching it semi-carefully. I Have to say that it seems a little scattered. Their montages to Bush Sr., The Armed Forces, and Lincoln seemed a little lack luster to say the least. The speeches are tired. The same god-fearing, Bible carrying, patriotic, keep-our-country-safe speeches are tired and used. They won previous elections but they cannot win this one. The Presidential approval ratings are still drastically low, proving that the American public is slowly waking up out of their moralistic coma and actualizing the plight of the middle class and the economic recession coupled with an endless war and unequal rights for all citizens. If that wasnt enough of a run-on sentence, well I have more up my sleeve.
Anyway if that wasn't enough after being picked by the Republican party and not McCain at all, Sarah Palin is under investigation for corruption after being Governor of Alaska for 20 months. Her husband recently received a DWI possibly alluding to a Drinking problem. Her teenage daughter is pregnant, 5 months pregnant. So much for the family values ticket for the Republican party this year? Who am I kidding the spinning of political bull shit has yet to happen.
The best news of all is we have two reputable candidates on the Democratic ticket. We have two dynamic, forward thinkers with a positive plan for changes in our corrupt preexisting administration. We have the ability to make this all better. All we have to do is vote. If you are apart of the 17% of Americans who actually approve of Bush's administration vote for McCain, because he agreed with Bush 90% of the time according to his voting record in the Senate. But if you are ready for change, and agree with the 83% of Americans vote Obama. Let's make this happen.

This week is my first full week. I started a new job this week and I really like it. I also start Choir rehearsal for my new scholarship. Couple all that with the classes, the swimming at the pool everyday, the three vocal ensembles, and everything else. So here is to my first new week of everything. Wish me luck, because I am going to be so busy that I will want to pull my hair out... that's a lie I would never do that. But I would make a decision of some kind, maybe drink too much Saturday night? Something!

I hope you are all well. I wish you all the best! Happy Post-Labor Day everyone!!! In the spirit of celebration here is a Sutton Foster video. I love her, and I imagine you do as well. Enjoy!

Yes WE Can!

2008-08-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

Lately, and by lately I mean as of this week, I have been swimming. Last year some friends and I created/joined The Chubby Swim Club. This was in response to the need for us to get out and excerise without judgment. It was a safe place where we would get together, and go swimming... and talk about all of day's happenings. As the year went on, more started happening, so we had more reason to talk and swim. Anyway this year some of the members left due to graduation, and while they are greatly missed, Livvie and I have carried on the tradition. THE CHUBBY SWIM CLUB LIVES! I have a routine this year, which is different that last year because I didn't really know what I was doing last year. I swim 10 laps freestyle, run 10 laps, and swim 10 more laps freestyle. Sometimes I will also swim 5 breathstroke and 5 backstroke, but that depends on the day. I am already starting to feel better about myself, and I am sure it will start to show soon! That means Terrill and Blake won't be able to call ME the fat friend anymore!!! YESSSSSS!!! haha!
Oh! I am also joining the Tai Kwan Do club on campus. My excellent friend Ashley Banks is starting it up, and I am so excited to join. This is supposedly a great way to gain flexibility, strength and endurance. I am way excited!
I had an audition last night for a Choral Scholars program here in Asheville at First Baptist Church. I sang Elijah's first tenore aria, "If With All Your Hearts" and I think I killed it. I sang for about 15 people, all of those on the committee to admit Choral Scholars. I was pretty stoked about it, and by the look of the committee's faces they looked equally stoked. Anyway so I was super honest about my position with Christianity as well, and they were fairly honest with me. They said that everyone in the church is on their own journey and they aren't there to determine which journey is right for everyone. So they seemed to like me, but I won't know until Sunday!
So last night when I got in, the FIRST thing I did was turn on the DNC Convention. I got home just in time to see Barack speak, and I have to say I could not be more excited for our country. He is the change we need, and his administration will facilitate that change. YES WE CAN! Plus we could not HAVE a better looking First Family. No one has looked that good in office since the Kennedy's!
I might be coming home today, I haven't really decided yet. We have a three day weekend, and Natalie called me to come down to see her before she flys off to Germany to live.. for at least a full year. So I think I might be coming down, I am just waiting for her to call me back! Anyway If I am, some of you will be getting phone calls today!
So in the spirit of the DNC convention here is a video from a new musical, Street Lights. It is a musical sort of in the same vein as In The Heights, using popular music and lyrics relevant to today's situations. Enjoy!

blast from the past

2008-08-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

Just when someone is the last thing on your mind, and I really mean the last thing ever. So I got a call yesterday, from someone I haven't talked to in three months, but in those three months worlds have changed. It made me feel like I was back there, three months ago. I felt, I feel like there is more to explore, but in a bad way. Sort of like the burner you aren't supposed to touch as a kid, but you touch it anyway. So why am I even bothering with this? I am accomplishing a lot on my own, even a potentially new relationship. Why would I ruin it with this? Why would I work for a lying idiot? I can't do that to myself. I can't go through that again.

Yesterday was probably the weirdest day ever. Livvie and found a dog, kept it for like two hours because it had no leash and decided to look for the owners this morning. Well after two hours went by we all decided to let the animals out to pee. After doing so, the police come around the corner and ask me what the deal is with the dog. I told them we just found it and there was no collar, but we were planning on looking for the owner's in the morning. Then they tell me she is over in the parking lot, so these are all good things! Anyway after I meet the owner she sort of backwardly accuses me of taking her dog. So I was polite, sort of, and told her there was no leash, no tags, no way of knowing and the dog was in the middle of the road two hours ago, lost.

Weird day. People take care of your animals and don't call old acquaintances or people you once felt a lot of emotion for after not speaking with them since. It shakes a guys world up when this sort of stuff goes on.

Weird day indeed.

Here is a song for the random phone call, and to help me raise the courage to forget and move on.

let the river run

2008-08-24T20:54:00.000-07:00

new stuff!

I have a new job, brand new, never-been-done-by-me-before job!

"I am spinning I am swirling it feels like my head is twirling.."- it's a Carnival thing!

Anyway- so I will be pouring wine in Biltmore's tasting room for the rest of the year... woohoo?! I am excited- i think!

Also a new relationship is in the works I think... more on that later!

School has also started, and it is weird to be back there. I honestly forgot that it would take me at least thirty minutes to get to class because everyone on campus wants to greet and catch me up on their lives, which is great, but i was late to my first day of classes. Never fear though, I am now compensating by arriving on campus early to allow for ample time to catch up with people I run into. It is weird to be back on campus, but it is even more weird to have some of closest friends not there. That line in Avenue Q in the song "I Wish I Could Go Back to College", at the end when they sing the line, "But if I were to go back to college think of the looser I'd Be, I'd sit on the quad and think, 'oh my god these kids are so much younger than me'". This line could not be more true, everyone is so young. Moreso, the freshman don't know who I am.. and that is innately frustrating. The good news is the chubby swim club is making a revival, and we have our first swim tomorrow at 5:30pm. That is really exciting. This should also let you know that I am working on the weight problem we all know I have been complaining about for... well forever!

I am really tired, and need to go to bed; however, after much consideration I decided to choose an older video that I have liked for some time now. It is one many of you might have seen, or maybe not. Either way this song is really catchy and will stay in your head for awhile! It is fun to sing on your way to someplace and imagine a choir in the background. Anyway here it is!

I hope you guys are having a great week! Catch me up if you can... I would love to know what is happening in YOUR life!

Beach and Back

2008-08-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

Back from the beach! It was great, it was weird, it was fun, it was awful. It was a lot of things. I went to a Seussical cast party, hung out with a bunch of great friends at Yosake karaoke, saw a bunch of friends at the end of their West Side Story performance all on Thursday night. Friday was a beach day with Michelle, Carolyn, Morganna, Terrill, Blake and myself. That could not have been more fun. That night Blake and I went to see Cabaret and went to Lou's house for his cast party. It was such a blast and we made great friends with some of the new people to Opera House! Then Saturday was more of a slow day, more of an angry day at my parents. So we spent the day around Southport and saw Seussical that night. It was such a fun show, I really enjoyed it! We then went out with the cast that night and stayed out with Michelle so long! She is so much fun and I could not enjoy hanging out with everyone more than i already did. Sunday we got to see Richie on our way out of town as well as see the rest of the cast of Cabaret. After we said our goodbyes we headed back to the beach, and classes have now started.

waaaaa waaaaaa

If I got paid for how many people have asked me why I am still in school, I would be a millionaire. But it has been great to see everyone! At first I forgot that it would take me 20 minutes to get across the quad to a class because everyone wants to say hello! So now I am compensating.

I also got put on the tenor solo's for the Mozart Requiem, and I am really excited because I will be singing with professional operatic soloist. It will be a great learning experience!

I also have had a couple job interviews this week, and so now I am just waiting for the good news that I got it, or at least one of them!

Oh! This week we are also planning on my cousin's wedding party! I can't believe she is getting married! She is only four years older than me! But I am really happy for her, and so Tara and I will make the trek to see her and cheer her on! We are also making plans for my uncle's installation at UNC! It is really exciting to see him get so much press and acknowledgement. I think we are all super proud of him! It is such a cool title and experience!

Last but not least I also got a haircut!!! Pictures will come later, but just know, it is a little different than normal, thus the mention. So many pictures are up of this weekend, so if you want check out my facebook page!!

I hope you guys are having a great week! Wish me luck with job searches, and with classes! Here we go!!

Oh! and here is the Benedictus- the last movement, of the requiem. It is sung by the four soloists. Enjoy!

Homeward Bound!

2008-08-14T06:39:00.000-07:00

After three long months, I am finally going home!!!!! I cannot wait! I get to see two really great shows, go to two cast parties... possibly three, and I get to go to the BEACH!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!

this is sort of epic for me. This is the last weekend before classes start so it is great timing. I have to be back by Sunday night though, to sing for freshman convocation on campus.

So Blake and I are taking a roadtrip. Yup, I said Blake! He came up to Asheville yesterday with a friend, and today we are heading out for home! I am going to get to see so many people!!! Natalie will be in town! Terrill will be in town! Michelle will be in town! Then there is everyone else as well that is usually there of which I haven't seen in three long months!

I AM GOING HOME!!!

All of this will of course be well documented. I am bringing my camera, and we will take lots and lots of pictures!

Wilmington/Southport/Greater Brunswick County Area....

GET READY!!!

The how to: On creating a benefit

2008-08-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

Wow so I believe I have found (another) job! exciting news... again! This past week I have been really busy creating and collaborating with a bunch of twenty somethings... or younger.. to make a benefit happen on Sunday. It has been really trying, and hard for all of us. This is the first time we have created something like this and so of course we have had our low points but we have also had our high points. We have created a show, a huge multimedia show full of art. We have also created a family. It has been really exciting to see this come together, especially in the last day.

We have a whole range of music and dance we are using in this show, so there is something for everyone.

Everything from Queen to Aida to Songs for a New World to Billy Joel to Godsmack to Spring Awakening to Avenue Q is in this show.

We brought it all. We finally have made it work as well. This show is going to be one that shouldn't be missed. I am really excited about all of it as you might can tell.

Anyway so this summer is still weird as hell, with all of the changes, but at least I can say I helped create something really worth seeing.

So in the spirit of benefits, here is a video of a benefit that went up about a month ago with a bunch of talented people as well. So check it out and enjoy! And if you are in the area come to Asheville and support us in our effort to further fund local theatre at Haywood Arts Regional Theatre!

The River Won't Flow for Me

2008-08-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

This summer has been probably, no definitely the weirdest summer of my life. A lot has gone down. People moving, I am in a new place... newish place, and life happens. For instance at the beginning of the summer at no resume and no idea as to how I could accomplish my goals. I was a little overwhelmed I guess, and a lot lazy. So now I have 3 ... count 'em, THREE resumes. Wow. One is for acting, One is for my print journalism stuff, and the other is for jobs I have worked over the past few years.... THREE resumes. I am impressed at least.

Some other life changing things have happened over this year, I lost my uncle to a unprecedented heart attack... and that is still weird to say. I haven't given it that much thought. I never saw him a lot and so not seeing him now isn't so weird, but to think he is gone... for good? I can't do that now. Then last week my half-brother's mom passed away. I have learned a lot about my family since then, a lot that I had no clue of prior. She was a lady who was married to my dad for a brief amount of time, but impact was felt long after. Just a weird thing... it is all sort of weird.

Benefits to bother with, Auditions today, Jobs to look for, Mom is in town... all of these things are going on.

Blog more later!

a new world crashes down like thunder

2008-07-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

Alright guys so since I haven't blogged in a while I will give you the highlights first.

-I am in a new place now and I love it

-I finish running Kiss Me Kate this weekend

-Mom and dad are visiting this weekend

-I am planning a trip to the beach in 2 (count 'em!!!) weeks

- I start school in three weeks

-I need a new(er) job

"... wait, what?" You might ask. Yes I need a new job. I was in a two week trial period at the restaurant I was working. They called two days ago and told me that I was too nice for the job. They were really nice, or at least as nice as possible, offering support and references and all that. I really liked the people there, and I think they liked me, they just want to hire someone they don't like as much I guess.

On a different note, Kristen has left the state! She got a headstart on me, but I am so happy for her. She visited right before she left, and it really worked as like a final hurrah for all of us to be in Asheville one last time, or something like that. Not that we won't see her anymore, I am planning a trip up to NYC in September, and I am trying to get Livie excited about it as well. This way not only could we see this city, we could visit Kristen in her new residence (which is only a few hours outside the city) and celebrate both Kristen and Livie's birthdays!

This only the beginning! New adventures are getting ready to take place all across the board. Roxanne moves to the city in September and starting conservatory in one of the most prestigious acting schools on the East coast. Blake is making plans to be some kind of busy in September as well and who knows where that could take him! I am finishing up my last semester here, but before you know it, it will be time for me to move up to the city in January! Oh, and my uncle was promoted to the Chancellorship of UNC! So we (the family) are attending his inauguration and all that. Lots of exciting things are going on right now.

These are all of the things I should have blogged about this week.

Anyway I am really encouraged and excited about the future. Everyone has so much going on right now, and I am just really glad I get to be a part of it!

So in the spirit of all of the new the New York Musical Theatre Festival is coming up in September. This is the time of year when all of these new musicals are debuted within the city and they sometimes get picked up to become the next Broadway hit, such as Title of Show. Some shows that I want to see in September are Idaho! (spoofing Rogers and Hammerstein musicals), Bonnie & Clyde: A Folktale (with Hunter Foster!!), Pasek and Paul (who will be performing in a concert.. finally I will get to meet these guys!), and College: The Musical. Here is a video from College: The Musical in order for you to get an idea of what it is all about!

A Change is Gonna Come

2008-07-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

I got a job! I bet you never thought you would read that on here, but I did! I also had a great weekend! I am always encouraged by my friends, and this weekend even by some strangers. I know I am not good at receiving compliments, but they are always really appreciated... and encouraging. I also got offered a part in a production of Gypsy up here, which I am hesitant to take. We will see.
I got nothin' but good going on... nothing but good. Here is video for the day! I hope you are all well! Drop some comments and let me know!

Here comes the sun

2008-07-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

It is a great day to be in Asheville... it is gorgeous outside.. and I am starting my running thing back up today! From today on I will run 3 miles everyday, so that I can stay in shape. I need this. I got added to a benefit this weekend for the theatre I am working with up here, and I get to sing A New World from Song For a New World. That is pretty ballin'... because lets be real I will never get cast as the black guy in any other way. So, today I have a job interview for a great restaurant. and I am pretty confident that I have it in the bag. I think this is the beginning of an excellent week.

Oh, and just because I have been listening to the soundtrack now, sort of revitalizing my last year obsession, I had to put this video on here. It is the best one, in my opinion, on youtube. It isn't perfect, but comparatively it is better than the others. The overacting, the first tenor, and the some other oversinging is sort of something you have to overlook.

Bring on the Bliss

2008-07-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

So I have really taken on this statement- the, "follow your bliss" statement given to me by Roxanne. And I really feel like I have, and the bliss is coming! I can't say how much the book The Secret has really affected my life. I believe in the law of attraction in real life, in my life. So, finally I feel like I am really getting to the good stuff, and that it super exciting.

I have a job interview, which I am pretty sure is mine, at a restaurant in the super classy Biltmore Village. I could not be more excited about that. We also opened Kiss Me Kate to a full house, a great toasting after the show, and we all had such a blast. I feel like things are falling into place now, and I am really excited! Oh! My parents came into town for the weekend, and we have had such a great time, which is huge! I also have some of the best friends in the world. I can't even begin to describe how lucky I am with all of these great people that have been put into my life. I also might have a potential love interest, which is like the first real thing that has happened in... well since like February, and even then that was a mistake, we all know that.

So things are good! Here is a video of kiss me kate, because we are doing most of the revival choreography (except for the ridiculous lift at the end!!!). Kiss me Kate runs for a month, 4 weeks straight, so come see it!!!

There's more??

2008-07-03T16:58:00.000-07:00

So this is the first Fourth of July I am spending away from the beach, and in all honesty it is sort of weird. It is weird in the I-am-doing-something-new-for-the-first-time way, and in the this-is-how-real-life-goes way. So this is sort of like the beginning of a new way to live, like on my own. I sound like a middle schooler.... sweet.

Anyway the show is going really well. I have some sweet costumes and we open soon! Classes also finished up today and I am pretty stoked as to how I did in the class. I don't have anything else to do up here though until I get a job, which should happen within the week. I have applied to a bunch of places this week and surely something will come up soon enough! As soon as I get a job I will be happy with being busy again!

Oh! a big suprise... The parents are coming up this weekend. This should be interesting. It is all part of the Fourth festivities. Tonight we begin with a solid night of drinking. I give a voice lesson tomorrow during the day, and then I move on to a cookout at night. Fireworks going off downtown tomorrow night! Should be a blast! I am sort of excited!!

Oh! Here is the video of the week. I cannot wait to see this show, I cannot say that enough.

It's Tuesday

2008-07-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

A lot is going on! Applying to a lot of jobs! Planning a potential trip to the beach! Helping Blake cut a song for his audition! Rehearsals all night! I am a little overwhelmed, but I am glad to stay busy. I would rather be busy that lazy. True story.

I really just wanted to post this video. This is one of the many reasons Cheyenne Jackson is Jesus. He is such a talent. I really, really, really like him! Enjoy this!!!!

an excellent video

2008-06-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

i couldn't stop laughing at this.... ENJOY!

Holy..... well you know

2008-06-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

This past week could not have been more exciting. I watched the kids I coached for 2 weeks perform on the mainstage at Haywood Arts Regional Theatre... and I could not have been more nervous, and then proud... in that order. Here I taught these kids, coached them. I put them into two different numbers- Do Re Mi, and Put on a Happy Face- and I didn't have an ounce of faith in them by the time the performance came around. I was convinced these kids couldn't do this onstage without me... and then they did. They did so well, better than if I had been onstage. They were really terrific, and I was proud of the work I had put into them. Needless to say you could have killed me during their performance I was such a mess... but when they bowed at the end my heart was so full. It was really a cool moment

We threw a sort of makeshift cast party for some of the Kiss Me Kate people Friday night which was also such a blast. I am having a lot of fun with this theatre company, they are a blast. Everyone is such a trip... such a group.

We also went to see Jon & Jen Friday night, and that is a show that should be done more often. This is the second time I had seen it and the music was even more infectious. What a great piece, especially for now. It is not hard to cast, easy to stage, easy to costume... totally worth it. One of the best pieces of theatre I have seen in a while.

Then last night we threw a cookout party which turned out to be a lot of fun for everyone. It was a huge success.

Oh! and I got to talk to some old friends this week! Dan Bogart, Terrill, Juli, Michelle! Dan is back in NC after he just closed Les Mis on Broadway... he is working at North Carolina Theatre for the summer before going back up to New York City. Then I might be planning a trip with Michelle to go see In The Heights in August! Juli, Terrill and I have been catching up over Wilmington theatre. Since I am not in town I gotta get the scoop from someone! Those two are some of the best people. It is these sort of people who make me want to continue doing theatre, they are all so passionate and excellent at what they do. To be a part of anything they are involved with is always something super excellent!

So today is the regrouping day. It is the last week of class. I may be going to Wilmington on Thursday night. I want to see Company, and I think I am going with Juli... who costumed the show, and maybe Terrill as well! It will be so great to see them and to see the show.

So here comes a new week! Bring it on!!!

It's a New Week!

2008-06-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

So It is a new week with new objectives. Here we go. I am excited- I should be excited, because not only do I have amazing friends, but I have things to look forward to, and that is so exciting. I finish up this camp this week, I am going to find a job this week, and I am planning a trip home!! I am going to see Company with Juli at Thalian Hall. Oh! And I am going to talk to some long lost friends this week. And that is a great thing.

Oh yesterday, someone told me I was a bad person, someone who meant something to me. So instead of being offended I have decided to really work and make sure that no one can ever say that about me. I want to be a person no one can say bad things about... so that, for now on is my sort of goal.

I got a great email from Michelle... and I really am into this whole positive thinking thing... so I thought I would throw it up with the rest of this. She sent an email giving you something positive to say about each day of this week. So here is Monday's.

Monday: Thinking for Peace

Today introduce the Intention of peace in your thoughts. Take a few moments of silence, then repeat this prayer: LET ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY, LOVED & PEACEFUL. LET THE WHOLE WORLD EXPERIENCE THESE THINGS.

Do that! Have a great day guys, I know I am!!!

deep breathe... and blog

2008-06-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while, and sort of on purpose. A lot is going on right now. I feel as though I am on this continual precipice. I keep jumping off reading to find a landing point, a point of stability, but instead it turns into this reoccurring thing, sort of like a nightmare or something. I don't know. I only know that this sort of sucks. I have felt complacent now for over half of a year. What the fuck. When does stability set in? I know this complacency is essentially my fault. I was the one who did poorly last spring in my classes, thus having to deal with it now. I was the one who kept jumping into shit that I didn't need, and kept avoiding the things I did need. I was the one who kept bothering with people who brought me no satisfaction, no friendship, only heartache. This year so far hasn't gone at all like it was supposed to, and all I can wonder is when did I fuck up? When did I get this really awful karma? But the republican, the small tiny republican within me can't help but say that I didn't just fall into all of this, I put this in myself. And I imagine it is a mixture, a sort of combination. An awful combination.

First of all. I keep running from project, place to place, thing to thing, essentially missing what I need to focus on. And this sort of avoidance doesn't help my current situation. This sort of action doesn't help the complacency. And this is a public affirmation of what you all have probably been wondering about me. You probably have been wondering what the hell am I doing? When am I going to slow down and breathe, and actually focus an concentrate on the bigger goals at stake. The truth is I honestly do want to move to New York, I want to live with Roxanne and Blake, and I want to try and act in the city. I know haven't been the most stable person for the past months. I haven't been a good friend, student, son, brother. I haven't focused on anything for more than a nanosecond to do any of this. Ok so, admission is the first step. So I know I am doing all of this, sort of like everything in the back of my mind is actually true. That sort of sucks, but I know it is real, and so I am ready to change it up.

Second of all, I have been single, essentially my entire life. Yet with this information you would think that I am perfectly capable of being alone, but you'd be wrong. I have this weird aura that makes me want to be busy with someone at all times. WHY?! I am still not comfortable with being by myself, regardless of being single for, well for forever. I have to overcome this. I am never going to attract anyone with this sort of mental handicap. I have got to start being ok with me before I am ok with someone being with me.

Third of all, here I am in asheville. Essentially, because once this camp runs out next week I will have to find real work. Not that I am not looking. I am looking for jobs, just not as hard as I should be. I am up here with this job running out, classes more than halfway over, and then I am just stuck up here with nothing, and for nothing, only to take a class in the fall. WHAT THE FUCK! I can't do this to myself. I need to justify staying in Asheville. I need a job, I need to be busy creating, because if I am not, I will go crazy. I need to find a purpose for the rest of this year essentially before it becomes one giant cluster fuck. That's sort of what this year has been, is... NOT ok. I can't let an entire slip by without doing anything. I am only getting older. I am still not accomplished in acting, singing or dancing, and that is the only real passion that I have. So how can I reconcile all of this? I need classes, thats one way I guess. I need to perform, that would be another way. But I feel like I know what I am supposed to do with my life... it is just trying to convince casting directors and agents of this innate purpose.... that sucks.

Clearly I have this consistent feeling of inferiority. I gotta get over this. And writing all of this has helped. This sort of helps quantify whatever I am trying to do. Anyway. I need to recollect and regroup. I need a gigantic change. Change won't come unless I make it.

So I guess now you know why I haven't blogged, or bothered with catching up with anyone... I have got all of this going on in my head. And all this stuff isn't really all that great. When I started this blog I wanted it to be really positive, as opposed to most angsty things you can so easily stumble upon online. So on the positive side change will come, Things will be different now that I have this to look at and remind myself. The best part is, once all of this transitioning is done I will be in a much better place, things will be different. I can do this. Just stick with me guys. I promise I won't disappoint you.

I hope all of you are having a great summer! Let me know how you are, and what is up in your lives! I hope to see all of you soon and in good health! Stay strong guys and thing positive thoughts for me, and for yourselves.

Word.

A Whole Lotta New...

2008-06-05T13:55:00.001-07:00

Today was probably the most pivotal day of my life, and if that doesn't sound epic I don't even know the meaning of the word.

Today was a hard day.

I learned that not only do I have to take more hours than I originally thought in order to complete my degree, but that I will also have to stay in Asheville over the fall semester in order to finish up my degree.

That may not seem epic, but trust me, it was.

This single statement turned over all of my plans of going to NYC in September. It also changed my estimated time of completion in my degree. This was really frustrating and especially hard to swallow.

However, I happen to have the best friends in the world. Blake and Roxanne are both willing to work with me about my arrival date into the city. On top of that, Roxanne and my own adopted mother Richie was immediately on the phone all day to help in finding me a way to graduate in the summer.

Jen was entirely understanding when I told her I wouldn't be able to do her show,more than understand, sympathetic. She is such an excellent human being.

I am so lucky to have so many people in my life who are willing to help and work with me. I honestly have no idea how I managed these people into my life, but I am so grateful. So grateful.

So I am in Asheville, and will remain so through the entirety of the Summer and Fall. Something I am not terribly interested in, but I will be able to save up so much money in the meantime. That is an upside. I will be able to take my time, raise my GPA some, enjoy my classes, enjoy some life. All things I haven't bothered with in quite some time.

I am in two classes right now and both of them could not be more exciting. I really enjoy the material, and I am excited to learn from the professors.

Tonight I get to see a great friend who has already made the move to NYC, and happens to be in town this weekend. Tony Lance! He is such a great person and apparently has a job this summer at a playhouse in Les Miserables. So congrats to him! I also get to see Emily and who knows who else! I couldn't be more excited!

So things went a little sour, but I still have faith in what is meant to be will be. So with that faith I trust in my future, and trust in where I will be after these classes wrap. I will follow my bliss, as Roxanne would say. And I really plan to do so.

Bliss is what's happenin'.

The Tipping Point

2008-05-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

Well the show is going super well. We close tonight and it is really bitter sweet. I just love singing with all of these fantastic people. Everyone is so nice and so sweet. Most of these people have been in my life since I was a child, and they all hold a really sweet spot in my heart. I have the most fun every night at the shows! Today we have two cookouts! One for the new cast of Seussical and one for the closing night cast of the Park Show!

You Guys can still come out and see it! Tonight at 8pm in Franklin Square Park, Southport NC

google for directions!

here are some pictures of the show above so that you can see all of the excellent talents!

Asheville is soon! I have job interview this week for when I return from Asheville. So much so soon! I can't wait! Everything is so exciting right now!

Tony Nominations!

2008-05-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

In The Heights

Passing Strange

Ok so the tony nominations have been in for quite some time now, they were announced Monday. BUT I was just thinking, what do the nominations say for the future of Broadway? Ok So looking primarily at the musicals, none of the mega-musicals were nominated except for courtesy nods to lighting designs, supporting characters, but not for the coveted best actor/actress/musical award. Instead In The Heights or Passing Strange May sweep the awards. Both shows opened in April. Both shows had considerably less money to spend than Disney and Mel Brooks. However these two shows touch chords with things that are going on in today's societies. So where they only nominated because of their timely commentaries? or because they were better than the mega musicals? or because in the theatre communities they are more respected? or all three? It is hard to venture what the academy was thinking. I can't help but think how interesting it is that here at a time where Young Frankenstein, the most expensive musical to hit broadway yet, didn't get a Tony nod for best of its kind. Is that to say that more money does not make a better musical?

Young Frankenstein

The Little Mermaid

If anything I think that the academy is definitely making producers and theatre company owners rethink what makes a good musical. Suddenly it isn't the money, like it was with Wicked, The Producers, or even The Lion King. It seems the Academy is making such money powerhouses to rethink their content, because that is what makes a show great, if that is what we can deduce from the results of the Tony nominations this year.

Also next year Title of Show is coming to Broadway. This show is a two man show with a piano onstage, and I think two women. I have heard the soundtrack and it is hilariously genius. It was meant for a cabaret stage, in fact the first time it was produced it was for a 50 seat space. It moved Off-Broadway and had a successful career, thus how I heard it. However, this year it is coming to Broadway. A show that used to cost you 20 bucks at the most will now cost you $111, $113 or something along those lines. Is it worth it? Will people pay that much? The show is solid, but it is small. Maybe people said the same thing about The Fantasticks and look how long it has been running, but still in an Off-Broadway state. Title of Show opens in the fall right alongside Shrek: The Musical, so what will the Tony's think next year? Will this mega-musical even have a shot? Or will david conquer goliath again?

What an interesting time to be in theatre.

Title of Show

Who cares about the weather?!

2008-05-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

I will go to the beach regardless!!!

video of the day!

All the sounds of the earth are like music

2008-05-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

I just realized I haven't stopped singing since May... OF LAST YEAR!

everyday I have had rehearsals or something! When does my voice get a break? I only noticed because recently it gets tired much easier than it used to-- I am attributing the fact that I haven't had a break from it in more than a year!

I can't really complain. I am doing what I love. I am so lucky to have gotten to sing everyday for rehearsals or performances. I have met some of the best people in the world, sang some great music, and sang in great places. I am really lucky!

... now about the job situation. MORE SEARCHING!!!!

song on my mind today

a change in the wind

2008-05-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

what could have been a terribly dramatic weekend, was not. Graduation was last weekend and I was supposed to sing for the commencement and the dinner before to honor the honorand (person who gives the commencement speech). Anyway I expected some tears, only because I couldn't participate in the ceremony because of the one class I have to take over the summer. I couldn't graduate, but I had to sing and go through all of the motions. Anyway it was anything but sad. I had a blast. The honorand was an amazing woman, Johnetta Beeches Cole. She was so sweet to me, and I really enjoyed the conversations I got to have with her. She is a strong individual with a fair amount of experience in the world of academia, and I could not have enjoyed her more. The day of commencement was not even bad at all. I was so proud to sing for all of my friends graduating. It really was a great day. And the after-parties were didn't hurt either. Oh! speaking of which! I went to a lake party in Wilkesboro, NC on Sunday. We had lots of fun; however, getting there was TERRIBLY challenging! There was a billboard on the way which said

THE ANSWER TO METH?

JESUS

You can enjoy that. I did, as you can imagine. I tried to find a picture of it, but I couldn't! Oh! While on this road trip to Asheville, Wilkesboro, and back I memorized the entire Seussical CD. Which is a little problematic if you want to sing a song and the only thing in your mind is "amazing mazzie"... people don't really look fondly at you I have discovered.

Now that I am back, I have to learn all of my words for the show this weekend. Especially the words to, "Corner of the Sky". That song is senseless and boring, hence I do not know it. Who knew opening would creep up on me! I always get excited when I get to perform for people, and this is no different, I am anxious for an audience!

Today also marks the recommencing of Thee job search. I am sure to find something this week!

amidst the conversation

2008-05-06T07:36:00.000-07:00

Job searching is not fun, especially doing the same search every summer. Every summer I have to search, it seems, for the same meaningless job only intended to pay some sort of meaningless amount to support my way through life. I precede all of this by saying, I haven't had the best luck with jobs. The company I work for will go out of business the next year, employ too many people within the next year, or change management altogether making it all too difficult to find a summer job. I only want a summer job. I have a class to take this summer which makes everything even more tumultuous... and if it seems as though I am pouting, I sorta am. I just hate looking for jobs, especially when I know I should be saving by the day for NYC, the big move!. I have so much to get done this summer!

Not to mention living at home. Living at home is a touchy subject. I really shouldn't be doing it anymore, but I wanted to stay one last summer at the beach before moving to the arctic circle, if that is even left after all of this global warming shenanigans. Living at home is fun, sometimes, but draining most of the times. I like the free part, but that is it.

Anyway so while turning in my job applications de jour I plan on taking part of the polling going on today. This is our chance to make history in North Carolina! This is our chance to vote for either the first woman, or black man to become the next president of the United States. That is exciting. This is our time for change.

Speaking of change, hopefully today I can change my unemployment status.

This summer is really not working out like it was supposed to, at least in writing.